Just checking in with ME and YOU all after a 2 week trip (only part of it was a real vacation!). We got back April 16 but it takes me a while to get back in my "routine" whatever that is! I keep learning things about this new stroke body of mine. I hope one of these days I can learn to to live within realistic expectations. Our trip to St. Lucia was what I call bitter-sweet. St. Lucia is a gorgeous island not too far north of Venezuela, close to Martinique. It takes a LONG time to get there from Arizona. This year we tried flying to Miami, spending a couple days to see friends, then flying nonstop to St. Lucia from Miami. Tucson to Miami was do-able (a word?) with only a change in Dallas. But Miami to SLU was a different story. What was a 3 hour non-stop flight ended up being 8 hours and there were no delays. Getting to the airport 3 hours ahead of time I think is stupid when you then just get suffled around and wait and wait. Wheelchairs aren't as convenient as they appear when you are hungry and they wheel you past the food court getting to the gate (they don't let you do it alone!). Therefore, we ended up spending 4 days of travel--and sometimes the wheelchair wasn't at the ramp like it was supposed to be which left us disgruntled, inpatient, and eventually tired (at least for me). Of course, the return trip of going through customs and immigration is time-consuming although I must admit it went pretty smooth.

The Windjammer Resort was as beautiful as ever but this time (our 4th year in a row), reality set in. It just isn't disability-friendly and I'm not much better getting around than last year. Walking with a cane and managing steps wears me out just to get to the pool or beach area. I cannot walk in the water because of current; even with Jerry holding my hand. Sand isn't a joy either. I am too unsteady - balance and coordination. So I think that is it for St. Lucia. At least I have some fabulous pictures to look at from time to time.

I faced reality this time (I still cannot swim, which is another topic). I have come to realize it is not good for me to spend time remembering the days gone by. I long to run on the sand again, run into the water and swim or snorkel. I am, however, VERY grateful for what I have done at this resort and many, many other things I have seen and done and places I have gone that some others will never be able to do. I am trying to develop new behaviors - such as gazing at the ocean I love so much and realize I do not need to be at the water's edge. I write this after returning from our trip. When there, I now know that I "stuffed my feelings" so I would not be sad and would not cry. I have lived through another chapter and came out okay. We have a pool at home and we just had railings installed so I can get in and out by myself. I tried it last weekend and it was great. Now I can do some pool therapy at home and float with a noodle. Upon our return I started my hospital pool therapy (1x/wk) and weight training with a trainer 2x/week so I cut one pool and added one weight training. I hope to get stronger which will help my balance. I am thankful for so many things to make this all possible...most of all to have survived my stroke and have the chance to continue living.

I was happy to see you were all here when I signed on. :forgive_me?: Bye for now. Hugs from Leah