In many ways, bringing Larry home feels like what I assume bringing home a new baby must be like...I don't have kids, but it has to be the same mix of joy and fear. I'm so glad he's finally getting out of the SNF, but worried that I won't know what to do, will do it wrong, will make mistakes, and all of that. I'm not happy that Larry's coming home the Friday before the bathroom remodel starts, but even if I had been able to get Kaiser to agree to a couple more weeks I'm sure there would still have been things that weren't ready. I think he just needs to come home, no matter what, and we'll just deal with it. Since his room will be in the middle of the construction zone he'll temporarly be set up in the room that we grandly call the "library" (it has about 3,000 books, and even though the bookshelves are from Ikea it's the heart of the house). There is nowhere he'd rather be - he does love his books! So, maybe that will not be so bad.

I spent a lot of time on the phone today and running around, buying medical supplies, setting up the appointment for the handicapped transportation service, making arrangements with the SNF for training time this week, figuring out when the bed and the DME will be delivered (still don't know - Kaiser told me that they "like to have it delivered before the patient comes home" - really??! I could not believe they said that!). I got a lot done, but of course there is still plenty left.

My step son, Eric, will take Friday off and be here to help get Larry home and situated. It will be so good to have some help and moral support; plus he is a very storng guy and will be able to get Larry in and out of the van, and set up once he's home. Eric can safely do the bed-to-chair transfer by himself, but I can't, so I'm glad he will be here. I'll be trained this week on the Hoyer lift, so by the time Larry comes home I should be OK with that, but it's a lot easier when Eric's here.

I went to the SNF after work today, and the nurse showed me how to give Larry's injections. I can now successfully innoculate fruit...I practiced on an orange when I got home. It's not that hard; the syringes are pre-filled and you just jab the needle in there and push the plunger. The injections are given in the abdomen, so I don't have to find a vein or anything too complex.

Somehow it will all get done, and Larry will be home, and things like changing diapers and giving injections will be routine. I know that everything up to this point has been the "easy" part in terms of the day to day logistics of care, but it's also been the time when I've been in shock, and although I have my bad days I do feel somewhat better equipped now than I was at first to deal with the reality of the stroke. I wish it would all go away, and I want my old life back, and I'm scared, and all the other other things that everyone else has gone through before me, but I"m also hopeful, and happy that Larry can at least be at home. Even if he never gets any better than he is right now, I know that he will be happier here, and that somehow we will manage. Beyond that I don't know, but who ever does??

xxxoo

-Janine