Well, the clock is ticking. Larry is scheduled for discharge late Friday afternoon from the SNF, "Country Villa" (in the interest of truth in advertising, it should actually be called "Concrete Wheelchair Storage Yard", or "Old People Warehouse", or something like that). I've been scrambling around this week getting all of the necessities together, and I think I've got most of it.

Cecilia, Larry's new caregiver, was at the SNF with him all day today. She got there at 7AM and was still there when I arrived at 6:30 this evening. I sent her home, even though she was planning to stay til 7PM. I'm not sure how the agency gets away with having her work such long hours, and I felt guilty that she had been there for such a long stretch. She will be there all day tomorrow too, but I told her not to come in until 9:30 or so, since that's when Larry's therapy starts and that's why she's there, to learn what he needs to have done and get comfortable with doing it herself. She will also go on Friday if need be. I'll see how she's doing tomorrow, and if she needs more time with Larry then I'll ask her to go in.

I'll go myself tomorrow afternoon for the same thing, to get up to speed with the current therapy regimen and to ask all the questions that I have about what to do when Larry comes home. I have a long list that I've been compiling over the last few days.

Larry seemed to be OK with Cecilia, but didn't express anything to me about her that was either negative or positive. Lots of shrugging. He wants to come home, but he's not happy about having a caregiver with him all day. Based on the yes/no "20 questions" conversation that we had tonight, I think he feels like I should just go to work all day and leave him alone! He does not want anyone to make a "fuss" over him (that's how he is); I'm not sure he gets it that there is no way that can happen. He was pretty depressed tonight, and it's going to be an adjustment for him to make the transition home, even though I know he will be happy to be out of "that place".

My dear computer geek friend Albert was here all afternoon today working the kinks out of the Web cam. It's still not working with the network for some reason, and he finally had to call it a day at around 7:30 this evening. The camera works great and the picture is crystal clear, but it can't be accessed from another computer. We tabled it for now; at least the cameras are here, and nobody will know that they don't work yet!

Of course all of this comes while I am totally swamped at work. I had meetings all day today and missed the call from the Kaiser person about when the equipment will be delivered, so I still don't know when the bed etc. will be here. I will have to find out tomorrow. I haven't had time to clean house or do all the things I wanted to get done before Larry comes home; I'll just have to see what I can get done tomorrow night, and the rest will have to be filed under "don't sweat the small stuff". I have a feeling that there will be a lot of that in the days to come.

I'm so glad that Larry is coming home, and so scared. Doing the first injection, and the first diaper change, and the first transfer with the lift - it is all pretty overwhelming, and I'm just not letting myself think of in big picture terms. I'll do each thing as it comes up, and it probably will not be too long before I get the hang of it. I know it wil not be easy, but I also know that I have to do it, and that I CAN do it.

That's it for tonight. I have a meeting at 7AM, which means I have to get up at 5:30 which means I am done with blogging for one day.

-Janine