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tinker

Entry posted by tinker

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I have just about come to terms with the fact that my husband (his name is Mickey) will not be coming home. When the stroke first happened and for months after i was conviced and completely sure that i would bring him home, maybe in a wheelchair but he would be with me at home. It was hard, hard, hard to face that. I still cry about it and wish it were different and would do anything to change that. But through this website I have learned that his safety is first and in his condition he would not be safe at home. I have never been impressed with money and never wish for money, but I wish I had lots of money now. With lots of money I could bring my Mickey home and have him safe because I could pay for it. But that is not reality. So I visit him everyday and bring him his favorite foods and hold his hand and watch TV with him. I can sweeze in his bed with him and watch the baseball game and he rubs my arm and hand and its wonderful. I am lonely as all heck at home, but I am thankful for what I do have.

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swilkinson

Sharon, I am so sorry you have come to this realisation but it it reality for a lot of couples post-stroke.

 

The survivors with self-manageable deficits can learn to live alone, the survivors with some deficits including mobility and cognitive problems like Ray manage with a professional carer or a partner looking after them but for some it is a SNF or nursing home that is home to them for the rest of their lives. It is profoundly sad that there is not government funds released to change this situation. Even here where we get a Carer's pension and other benefits people who need 24 hour care still cannot come home.

 

I am glad you are able to spend some quality time with Mickey, that you still have things you can do togetheer. It is another phase of your life now. I am so glad that you are able to see this as a possibilty, and who knows? things may yet take a turn for the better and he may one day be able to go out for the day with you and you will have the opportunity to enjoy some social life together.

 

(((Hugs))) from Sue.

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merichsen

Sharon,

I'm sorry you are so sad and that you have lost hope for any change. Keep in mind that as you stated in the beginning you were completely sure you would bring him home. I don't want to offer you false hope, I'd have nothing to base it upon, so your acceptance of the current situation is best to help you cope for now. Just enjoy the time you spend with Mickey, enjoy the Yankees, your arm rubs, and keep in mind you do never know when it comes to what you think you're sure of.

Love ya,

Rea :friends:

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