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The long weekend


avantgardener

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Actually, the long weekend FLEW by. One thing I've noticed since Larry's stroke is that there are even fewer hours in the day than there were before - and I thought I was busy before this happened. I'm trying to make a conscious effort to discriminate between what has to get done and what is just obsessive/compulsive housecleaning stuff (which I have a lot of since the stroke).

 

My one big goal for this weekend was to get Larry's hair cut, and I never did. His sister, Judy, bought a hair trimming device when she was here a week ago, and I still have not figured out how to use it. I kept putting it off until I had given him a shower and washed his hair, and that didn't happen until this afternoon - by then he didn't want me to cut his hair and I didn't push it. The simplest things seem to take so much effort! Just getting Larry up and dressed, his teeth brushed, breakfast, and all that takes about 2 hours. This has certainly taught me a lot about patience, which I've always has in short supply. At this point, Larry looks like he went to Berkeley in the 1960's (which he did); all he needs is a tie-dyed T-shirt and he could pass himself off as one of the Rainbow Family members.

 

At least we got his shower done. I bought a shower chair that is unfortunately a real piece of junk...I tried to return it and they would not take it back, so I'm stuck with it. I am going to have to just buy something else; I've tried twice now to use it and it's too flimsy and too small. Also, I can not figure out how to take the hoist sling out from under Larry once I've finally got him in the chair. Even if I could get it out, I'm not sure I could get it back in again. I may put up a post about that - there is probably a technique that I don't know about. In any case, we managed somehow to get the shower done (in the backyard with the shower attachment to the hose; fortunately I can run warm water from the garage). At least his hair is washed and he's clean, and that's something accomplished.

 

After the shower trauma had faded we took a walk to Trader Joe's and did some grocery shopping. I am so grateful to have so many things within walking distance! It's good for both of us to get out and be in the world, instead of just in the house and back yard. It's about a 2 mile walk round trip, so very good for me as well - I need the exercise. Larry sang to me again on the trip home. He can hum the tunes of things and sometimes can sing a few of the words. People look at us, but I so totally do not care. I'm so happy that he's home and that we can get out and enjoy an evening.

 

Things are OK. This is not easy for either of us, and I wish this had never happened, but we're managing. I'm so glad that his personality is still there, and that even though things have changed there is still a lot that's the same.

 

xxx's and ooo's

-Janine

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Janine,

 

See...as you were told by many you can continue to enjoy life together and be happy just differently, and you will continue to enjoy life together and be happy.

Maria :friends:

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Guest lwisman

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Janine,

 

It sounds like you are getting into the swing of things. It does take a bit.

 

It is great you were able to take Larry out. I know when I first came home after my stroke I real appreciated getting out. The walls get to you after a while.

 

Sorry you had problems with the shower chair. I am on my third. The first was sent home with me from the rehab center (for some reason my insurance paid for it). It eventually wore out. The second two I ordered on the Internet. There are a lot of options. The first one I ordered is a very simple chair, which I used for several years. The one I use now I could not have used right after my stroke. Stroke survivors do get better! Good luck finding one which works in your siltation.

 

Take care and keep us posted on how you and Larry are doing.

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hi janine, the weekend wasn't a total loss. you did accomplish a few things and its trial and error alot in the beginning to find what works and doesnt work for you. i think i got my shower chair from dr leonards.com its a rubbermaid with a stable seat and legs that don't slip and are adjustable. it has arms on it and supports alot of weight. the seat has drainage holes, it works great for me. maybe you could look into renting one at 1st, until you find the right type for larry. the survivor needs to feel safe in the shower with all of the slippery soap. i also put a rubberized liner in my shower to prevent my feet from sliding around and to keep the chair secure. grab bars are all around in my shower also to help me in and out safely. i'm sure you will find what works for you. it still the early stages of his homecoming. good luck.

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Janine,

 

You're getting into the routine. So much initially is trial and error as not everything works for everyone. You're finding out slowly what works fir you and Larry. I'm glad you 2 were able to get out of the house as well and walk to the store.

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Janine:

 

I am so happy for you. It feels great to know life still can be joy after maor trauma. it's great that you both are able to go out for walk. is Larry able to walk by himself?

 

Asha

 

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Larry can't walk by himself at all - in the nursing home he could stand between parallel bars with maximum assistance, but it was very hard for him - now that he's home and not in a structured setting (and without the equipment) he doesn't even have the chance to try. I can't safely hold him up, so it's pretty much the Hoyer lift to the chair, and then the lift back to the bed. It's too bad, but I'm hoping that I can get him into the outpatient rehab program and that he'll be able to pick up where he left off.

 

In the meantime - yes, it is wonderful to know that there are still good days ahead of us. Different, but still good. More than I allowed myself to hope for at first. The pace of life has definitely slowed way down for us, but maybe that is not such a bad thing. I find myself falling into bed at night and going right to sleep - caring for Larry in the evenings is exhausting, but rewarding too, and I feel better knowing that I can actually do something for him.

 

xxx's and ooo's

-Janine

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