I went to Wyong TAFE college to get my "Statement of Attendence" for the course I have just done on "Carer Connections". The staff were very pleased with us all as it was the first course and we were the guinea pigs. The information we have provided will be used to restructure the course and make it more focussed. It is nice to know we have made a valueable contribution to the training of future carers.

While the teacher was giving her speech she referred to a popular television series of 20 years ago and a particular story. I think most of us remembered Paul Hogan before he became well known as "Crocodile Dundee". He was a stand-up comedian and had a program where he did character sketches. One character was a bumbling magician called Luigi. He had a beautiful ( she was a real knockout!) assistant called Maria. When his latest trick failed or his apparatus fell to bits, which it always did, Luigi would say:"keepa dancing Maria" and Maria would shimmy and shake to distract the audience. The teacher said it would be good to have a "Maria" to distract others so they didn't focus on the mistakes we as carers make.

Just lately I have been subject once again to a lot of helpful advice. This comes down in a lot of cases to something like "put Ray into care or get more help looking after Ray and protect yourself". It is good, sensible advice and if I didn't love Ray and remember my appreciation of having had him as my husband for forty years I probably would consider taking it. But as it is I will try to get some more help with Ray, I will try to remember to look after myself, and I will continue to look after Ray for as long as I am able to do so.

Ray went to Daycare, armed with the money he needs for the day, full of instructions from me on what to do and what not to do. Considering he has short term memory troubles and is not likely to remember what I say I don't know why I bother giving him instructions. But why break the habit of a lifetime...lol. New arrangements mean I now have to help load Ray onto the bus from the kerbside as they are no longer "allowed" to come into my driveway. Another silly rule, probably with some sort of safety idea behind it but none the less as a carer it makes life harder for me now. I also have to be at kerbside to help him out of the bus too. Today I parked the car on the road and drove him up the side of the house and walked him in the back door. That is the safest path and most direct route into the house for him.

He enjoyed Daycare but came home very tired. I enjoyed my day as I was able to see Mum today after the presentations and fit in a bit of shopping. Mum sadly is badly bruised after yet another fall. At 90 she is having too many of them but short of tying her into a chair which she would hate there is no way of preventing her from the occassional fall. I have said I will take the responsibility for her falls ( I signed a waiver against suing them) and so it is a consult each time. But at least she is still able to go on living where she is and still has the freedom to walk the corridors etc. I grieve over her each time I leave her, it is so sad to see how she is now, old, bend and fragile so weakened by time and sickness. Nothing like she used to be.

I have some more decisions to make. I need to contact my care provider and see if they are willing to fill in the gap by increasing the service hours when Scallywags goes back to being once a fortnight instead of once a week. I also know that all my services will cease in December and I need to book extra care now to be provided over that period and so avoid a period where I am more or less Ray's sole carer. It is okay to live day-by-day but you also have to plan wisely for the foreseeable future too.

I enjoyed the weekend. It was busy unexpectedly as we did go to the church Spring Fair on Saturday morning and to the performance by the Sydney Welsh Choir in the afternoon. Both events were enjoyable in a different way. We also went to church on Sunday and had a friend visit Sunday afternoon. Ray knows now that it is okay to go to have his nap if a visitor is here as long as he says a few words to them first. Most people who visit do know the truth of what is happening to him and are quite willing to let him have his rest.

This week is as busy as any of our weeks are and I will arrive at the weekend with only half the tasks I have set myself done.

"Keepa dancing Maria."