Katrina, you sound as if life is really getting you down right now. The questions you ask now are the questions we have all asked at some time in our lives. Sometimes we have got answers, sometimes we haven't.

St Paul said he had learned to be content in all things, that is my aim in life too. That way whatever life slaps me with I will be able to get through it. I am twice your age and then a bit moe so I can't even begin to explain how I got here.

Heaps of (((hugs))) to you from Sue.

Katrina,

It's not that no one can love you until you love youself, it's that you can't love any one until you love yourself. What that means is that to be able to love someone and just love them without some self serving codependent purpose like trying to fill a void or need within yourself you must be mentally healthy enough and love yourself enough to just love the person without trying to feed off them. The other side of that does actuallt tie in to what you said, but it's not that they can't love you. It's moreso that mentally healthy people tend to steer clear of emotionally needy ones because they know what they receive in return is not love but rather a roller coaster ride based on the instability of the other's ill mental health. So it's not a can't but more a prefer not to.

You seem to be wrestling with some very difficult issues in your head lately and based on your previous post it seems some may stem from home. I wish I had some answers for you honey but I don't. It would probably be a good idea to speak to a counsler on campus who is trained to help and work with you to get through some of this. You know we love you and are always here for you, but you really need some one on one interactive couselling and assistance.

Love,

Maria :friends:

Katrina:

I don't have any wise comments for you. I only know we all are here and survived for a reason & purpose and right now as dark it seems to you, light will enter in your life, provided you are allowing it to enter. accept one thing, life is unfair. bad things do happen to people. only thing you can control is your attitude towards life's circumstances. no one knows why people do what they do surrounding you. we all have come on earth to grow in spiriuality and learn from our life and from our dear ones lives. I know one thing for sure suicide is not answer to anybody's problem. In our eastern way of thinking we believe if you end it before your learning from it then in your next lifetimes you wil have to go through again, and right now we all have more help then we realize. you never know whose life you are touching by just being there. have you tried antideprssent pills and talking with counselor might help too. I agree with Maria about loving yourself the way you are is the must to get love in return.

I hope tomorrow is better day for you.

Asha

Katrina,

Everyone is entitled to a bad day, but now it is time to flush...

Don't live in yesterday, live for today, for tomorrow may never come.

From a friend to you, "You are only as disabled as you allow yourself to be, so quit crippling yourself."

You are a bright, beautiful young woman, be thankful for what gifts you have. So many on this site have lost much due to stroke... ie; careers, smiles, love, friends, right or left side movement, legs, arms, hands, fingers, eyesight, self esteem, etc. You are not the only one hurting.

You are not alone in this and others could use your help, including me.

Ann

Okay you are young.. we have had other young survivors here.. a baby , a 9 yr old etc. Maybe you should go to the hospital and walk aound the stroke ward or volunteer 2 hrs a weeek there. I was NOT ready to retire to give up a GOOD paying job, with benefits that I ENJOYED.. I DO NOT like the cognitive deficits I have. I could NOT go to College or take classes ....

I consider the stroke I had extremely mild, and I Thank God every day for the things I can do.. that I RE learned how to do. YES i get down sometimes. Yes I was 54 when stroke entered my life.. but I was not ready.....

Look at the kids born with MS or deformorties.. do you think any of them ASKED for them. Wouldn't we all love to be what we think of as perfect?

If you are having fmily prblems again. I think you better get to your counselor. or some family counseling.

Not many people get a free ride........ you get what you get.. you learn to live with it and work with it..

You need to express your feelings of sadness and frustration one on one with a counselor or pastor. It's time to get some assistance and perhaps medication. It also sounds as though you may be lonely and might have some family anger. There is help available and the first step is realizing you need it and to ask for it. We are here for you but your postings are beginning to frighten us as we know counseling is needed immediately.

It is imperative that someone listen as you share your thoughts/inner feelings. Please schedule an appointment.

Let us know how things go. Most importantly, HELP is available.

Stessie

Katrina,

Please please speak to a campus counselor about your feelings. You are so young dear and have your entire life ahead of you -it was not time for you to go to Heaven's Gate when you experienced stroke. Stroke has entered our lives for a reason, not as a punishment.

Please know that we love you and worry about you. If you don't want to go to a campus counselor, then speak to your doctor for some medications and/or seek help by going to www.suicidology.org or by calling the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline number, 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

If you wish, you can also pm me your telephone number and we can talk.