I just wanted to let you all know im ok so you can stop pming, commenting, and e-mailing. I appreciate you all. I am sorry for being rude. I was just really upset and I misplaced my anger. My emotions have been stable lately. I have not felt extremely great but not extremely sad either. I guess I am just trying to accept that things will never go back to the way they were when everything was perfect. I guess my freshman year was the highest point in my life and what made it even better was that it was wonderful despite my disabilities. This year on the otherhand, did not get off to a good start and it seem like my disabilities just made it worse. I had my doctor's appointment. I have to go see the gastroetenerologist to make sure there is nothing wrong with my colon. I found out my blood count is low so the doc wants me to start on multivitamins again. Exactly 2 weeks until my dreaded "anniversary. Fortunately it falls on the same day as Homecoming so I will have the football game and step show to keep my mind off of the grief. It would have been great to ride in the parade as Miss Association of Individuals with Disabilities on the same day as my stroke anniversary, but oh well. I tried. The Sandhills Heart Walk is next Friday and I cant wait to go. I went a couple of years back but it rained so I couldnt stay. This year I am looking forward to walking an talking with other stroke survivors. I am kind of stressed right now because I have midterms next week and as I said before, I am not doing good this semester. It does not help to have so much pressure on me from EVERYONE. It i like everyone expects me to be the perfect genius. I guess everyone thinks I did it before so I can do it again. If only they could understand. All I can do is try and I am trying hard so I ask for your prayers as I prepare for midterms this weekend and take them on Tuesday and Wednesday. I forgot to mention my good news in the mist of all the sadness. Well about a week ago, I practiced driving with my dad. I drove the longest distance so far, I made a u-turn, and parked between 2 cars. I felt very accomplished and looking forward to driving again. Well I must get back to studying now