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self esteem or lack of




I used to have a strong character, I didn't lt anyone step on my toes. Since my stroke though I was easily intimidated. I felt so alone, anybody who had kind words for me I would immediately become that person's slave (sort of) They could ask anthing of me and I would go out of my way to do what they asked. To be their friend, they didn't even have to ask, I was there trying to be helpful, to be the friend that I would have loved to have, the friend I needed.Because of that I let a lot of people take advantage of me. I realized that all these aquaintances were not friends after all. Having found my soulmate and my self esteem, I realize what I had been doing. I was trying to buy friendship. I stopped doing that and by the same token have lost the friends I thought I had.The few friends I now have, I know they are real friends and don't need to be bought. It took me very long to learn this but now that I have, I'm a lot happier and ok with the fact that I don't have many friends but those I have are real friends.


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