I have not written in a while because the last few weeks have been very difficult for me. I have been seeing a counselor and I think we found my brother's problem. He has a malignant narcissistic personality disorder. (he's a nut case), like I really didn't know that before. I see my counselor tomorrow and I hope there might be a beginning of the end.

On Sept 29 my favorite aunt and really the only one beside Teddy that gave me unconditional love. My counselor talked to my mother and I had hoped there was a breakthrough, however she also warned me that my brother would retaliate against me since I told him I did not want contact with him anymore. She was right, he did retaliate. I have no idea what he said to my family, but I never heard when my aunt's funeral was, or if I could go.

Finally, on Saturday I called my mother to ask what was up. She acted like I should know exactly what was going on and why are you calling.

Needless to say, my whole family is mad at me and my mother basically told me not to bother calling again.

On the other hand my brother's condition is a felony offense and he could very well go to jail and be forced to see a psychiatrist. I think he might need some drug testing too. It is ironic that I am the one that showed concern for my parents, since my father has Alzheimer's, and is getting worse.

Anyway, since my counselor warned me that my 'male sibling unit' may retaliate , it should just confirm what she suspected. I am hoping, but still I am a realist and would not be surprised if nothing happens to him. At this point, all I want is for my brother to pay for what he has done to me, and then to h&*% with all of them.

The worst mistake I ever made was trusting them. I would have been better off if I had defected to Russia.