hi leah,

great blog....glad you kept going. sometimes it is just what we need...to vent and say life is hard after stroke. i am sorry to hear of your fall. i have realized that when i am feeling emotional i tend to bang into things or trip or fall. i just hit my 3 year mark post stroke and i feel, well at least for me, it was right around the 2.5 mark that i came face to face with need to adjust my expectations or to continue to feel bad. accepting our strokes does not mean everything goes smoothly from then on, but i think it is the point when we begin to change our approach to life. we still have up and down days but they don't control us. i too always had to do things perfectly and perhaps we feel the need to be the perfect stroke survivor. i have gained weight with my stroke and i recently saw a pic of myself during our pumpkin picking trip of me, my grandson and hubby. here was this lopsided, cane carrying pudgy woman.. i was appalled at how i looked and angry and sad. then i remembered what a super day it was and i had to get over myself cause it just did not matter.

i still schedule too much and pay the price but i am begining to do it less often. like you i needed to do things and accomplish things to be worthwhile person. we need to quite beating ourselves up and be kind to ourselves and cut ourselves a break. iand yep, stroke suck, life is hard after stroke and thankfully we are still here in life. take care ....hugs! kathy/b]

Great Blog Leah .. The first year definately SUCKS. there is so much going on .. and re-learning, etc. Like Kathy about 2 1/2 yrs. I decided ... I needed to accept the changes, I didn't have to like it.. but I learned to like myself. There is change in life daily. I gained some weight also, not being as active as I once was. I have lost some of it. so that mademe Happy.

I also had/have the tendency to try to pack to much into one day, week . I am learning, to slow down, and after a Big day to expect to be tired, and take some time. I am learning to slow down.. if it doesn't get done today.. oh well.

Maybe writing things on a calendar or pocket planner.. you can say ok 2 appointments a week. or the day before a party or event No appointments.

((((((((((hugs)))))))) Bonnie

Super blog, Leah. I now watch my new grandson (4 months old) each Tuesday and Thursday. I realize I cannot plan anything for those evenings as I am so tired. But, it is so worth it as for the hours I care for Logan, I never think about stroke.

There are times when I don't accompany my family or friends when there is uneven grass or concrete. I do know what you mean.

Thank you for your blog. I enjoyed it.

Stessie

Great blog Leah,

Yes we do tend to try to pack too much into a day or week as we did before. I was a type A personality so it was go go go all the time 7 days a week. That came to an abrupt halt on 1-1-05. It has taken me quite a while to come to grips with that. Physically I can no longer do it though I try to convince myself I can. My Wonder Woman & Super Girl attire has been packed away in moth balls never to be donned again. I need to just pitch them lol as they would not look good on me anyway lol.

Hang in there gal and know that you're not alone. Do what you can and leave the rest to another day.

(((hugs)))

Leah:

I agree with others don't overload with too much stuff to do in one day space it out duringthe whole week & if something doesn't work the way it should be then oh well is world going to stop because of it. For me few things worked. I take baby steps and wonder how far I have come. to become thriving survivors you need to take few steps written beautifully in I won't be broken book by Jerry white

1. accept the facts- some things you can do & some you can't but does it mean you are less of Leah because of it

2. choose life - you can't shun yourself out due to your disabilty again you are still you.

3. reach out - get involve in support group, try volunteering for people in need

4. - learn something new

for me taking all these steps have helped me get out of my funk mood.

Asha

To all the survivor angels who responded to my blog, thank you. It helps to know that others have and are going down the same path. It is not easy, but it is possible. In the end, Ihope to be stronger because of it. Since I have a bad cold I can't overdo!! So today I am in total rest. And yes, Asha, one of the books I am reading today is I Won't Be Broken. Thanks to recommendations on this site I found it and now have it. Hugs to all, Leah :Angel: