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avantgardener

Entry posted by avantgardener

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I'm embarrassed by how long it's been since I've written here. Insert all the usual excuses - no time, too busy, etc. etc. - all are true!

 

I guess the real reason is that I've come out the other side of the initial craziness, and am not feeling as needy as I did at first after Larry's stroke. Weird as it may seem, all of this has become a routine, and although I would never have chosen it, this is our new life and we've adjusted.

 

It's been 7 months since Larry's stroke. Seems like a lifetime ago! I was a totally different person B.S. than I am A.S., and Larry is too, and somehow we have managed to make it all work. Larry is still about the same - pretty much total paralysis on his right side, no speech or writing, and confined to a wheelchair. Still, there are a lot of good days. He gets up in the chair and we go out, or we go into the back yard and water the plants, or just into the living room to watch TV. He likes being at home, and doesn't seem to want more out of life, so I respect that and have stopped pushing him to go to therapy appointments or improve his condition - he doesn't want to, and I can't force him, and that's not how I want it, but it's not about me!

 

I'm glad to have an outside job that keeps me in the "real world" for most of the day. Aside from needing the money, I also need the time away from the aftermath of the stroke. As much as I'd like to be able to care for Larry myself, the reality is that I would be totally depressed and frustrated if I actually could. Jean is so right - caregiving is not for sissies! I count myself so fortunate that I have a solid career and can afford someone to come in during the day so that I can continue to work. I like looking after Larry at night and on the weekends, and I'm grateful that Cecilia manages things when I'm not here. That breathing space is the difference between sanity and craziness for me.

 

So, I hope everyone is well, and that I'm forgiven for being quiet so long. There just are not enough hours in the day, and I end up not logging on at home for days on end. I promise not to disappear, but surely do wish that I had more time!!

 

xxxoo

..jm..

 

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stessie

It is so good to hear from you. Isn't it amazing what six months can do???? All the craziness right after a stroke and then settling in/adapting to the change in life's course. Take care of yourself especially with the holidays approaching and keep us updated as you can about yourself and Larry. It sounds like Cecilia turned out to be a gem.

 

Stessie

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merichsen

Janine,

We were just wondering about you the other day and assumed that you guys had just settled in to a routine and were doing well. Glad to hear that is the case. In the beginning it is quite hard to see the forest for the trees, but you got here. If you get a chance read the piece Elondie inserted in her latest blog called "The Value of Hard Places", I think you will appreciate it.

Pop in when you can to say hi. We won't forget you, you're family and will always be a part of us.

Maria :friends:

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HostAsha

Janine:

 

wow you finally came in to say hello. I like it when people do that. Its important for newbies to realize things do settle down and won't be that crazy for rest of their life. I am saddened to see Larry making that choice but it's his life & surviving stroke is not for sissies. I am gkad that cecila worked out for you so good. pop in whenever you have time to say hi. we al love you

 

Asha

 

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dstraugh

Janine,

 

It was so great to see that you blogged. Been wondering how you guys were doing. I'm so so happy that Cecilia has been there for you and Larry and that you have your daily out into the workforce.

 

Maybe down the road Larry will change his mind about therapy. The old line though you don't use it you lose it is true. Without movement his muscles can weaken.

 

Please stop by when you can as you are part of our cyber family. I can hear your "peace" right now as you have adapted to the caregiving role.

 

Janine, you ain't no sissy!!!!

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Mema

I am so happy to read your blog. I was getting worried, but it sounds like you are doing well. You are doing the right thing with Larry. It will have to be his decision to make changes, and he's fortunate he has you there to help him. And Cecelia sounds like my Misti - very reliable, which is a huge help.

 

Anyway, welcome back.

 

Vi

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swilkinson

Janine, welcome back! I have been on here since May 2005 and still find it interesting, posting, reading, blogging so I stay on the board and enjoy the friendships we create here.

 

I'm glad Larry and you and Cecilia are proving a good partnership, it is good to have a partner-in-care to take the load off for a while.

 

Keep on coming back here, this is not just for when you are "needy" it is for anytime you have the time to drop by.

 

(((Hugs))) from Sue.

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