All the second guessing is so tiring and probably useless. But I do it again and again. I received a comment to my last blog from Asha - it was a gift. It gave me a whole new perception of one of the "guesses".

Everyday I see Jackie making gains. Mostly cognitive. They seem so small to her when I tell her - she rolls her eyes and frowns at me like I am crazy. She has learned how to change the channels on the tv remote. She knows what to do with the cell phone - put it to her ear and listen and try to talk. She is a more active participant in conversations. She answers short memeory questions more accurately and often her short term memory is better than mine - how scarey is that?

There is no return of any use of her right side - yet. I am praying like heck. Jackie was able to communicate that she is tired of being "changed". I am not sure she always knows when she needs to go but I requested that they begin a toileting schedule for her - she needs some dignity here. She indicated she was more than willing.

Today I tackle the tractor. Off with the leaf vacuum and mower deck and on with the three point hitch the blade and the bucket. Any other time in my life this would seem monumental. After what we have been thru - well, I won't say there won't being some creative swearing - and I sure will miss Jackie's help - but I will figure it out and get it done otherwise I will get snowed in here.