Seems hard to believe that it has been close to two months since my last entry. A lot has happened during that time. On 11-15 we had the memorial service for Mom. The service was beautiful and emotional; there was a luncheon in the church hall following the service.

I held it together pretty much until the pianist sang and played Wind Beneath my Wings. Kristi was next to me, trying to keep me together but she too failed towards the end. Where I was sitting in the pew straight ahead of me was a portrait of Mom and her ashes. Kristi and I both were prepared to get up and speak but the priest never asked and the service concluded.

During the luncheon, her portrait stood on it's easel and Elvis music was played in the background. Mom loved Elvis and is probably following him around Heaven as I type this. When everyone was busy, I went by myself and read the poem I was going to recite during the service. Final closure will be when we spread Mom's and Angel's ashes in the spring.

My Bro and his kids sent us boxes of Mom's things to keep. Joe has many boxes at his house as well; I'm hoping to acquire some of her angels to add to my collection which can then be passed down to Kristi one day.

Thanksgiving was a quiet day spent with me and my girls here at home. Kristi had to work part of the day but was released early to be home with me and the furbabies. Family get togethers were canceled as many were fighting flu bugs. We had our own feast here as well as plenty of leftovers lol. I think I'm turkeyed out lol.

On December 9th I had to go for a mammogram retest of the left girl. Before the tech started, she showed me the previous shot and I could see the "suspicious" area. After the mammogram I had to have an ultrasound done. As a result of the ultrasound, I will be going on 12-30 for a needle biopsy of 2 questionable areas. I was told that approx 10% of women have to have the needle biopsy done. The doc who did the ultrasound said that the areas may be nothing but if there is something there it may be in the beginning stages. With my Mom just passing away from undiagnosed breast cancer no chances are being taken.

I'll admit, I am quite anxious but have got to remember to Let Go Let God. As Kristi will be home from school on Christmas break, she will be with me. My Bro is driving us to the hospital that day so I don't have to contend with medical transportation .

On 12-5 we attended my Bro's annual family/friends Christmas party. A good time was had by all as we did last year. I do think the Hurricanes were stronger this year than last as I did feel the effects quite profoundly. I had the same amount as I did last year but WOW. Wonder if my nephew spiked mine lol to see his Auntie get wasted. No hangover the next day so I survived it fine - better than my Bro did I might add. The food was great as was the DJ. I even danced to the family song "We are Family" with my Bro.

My niece, Taffy, used the opportunity of the party to raise money for MDA as she's participating in a MDA fund drive where she gets "arrested". Whatever monies she raises her employer will match. That night she received $240.

We're now getting ready for Christmas. The house is decorated - We received Mom's decorations so they are added to ours and the house is decked.

I probably will not have another entry until after the holidays and my biopsy so wishing you all Peace, Joy, Love and the best for 2009.

(((HUGS))) to my cyber family - I love you all so very much.

To each of you I give the following:

Message From Santa Claus

If it were in my powers,

I would bring peace and love,

To this world of ours,

But I don't have magic enough,

I can cross the sky,

and pass by the stars,

But I can't seem to stop,

Any of hatred's wars,

I see children on the street,

With no hope left,

in the eyes.

So many homeless people

with no where to sleep.

And my heart cries.

I can't give the things they need,

Oh But God I would try.

I'm only a fantasy,

that once took wings to fly,

Some are deceived,

by the gifts that money can buy,

But those who truly believe,

see the gift with the heart,

not with the eye,

I sometime stop and go to my knees,

and pause,

and I too always pray,

That we will find a end to wars,

and live in peace one day.

For all those who believe in me,

I will continue my cause,

Across the stars,

over the wars,

On Christmas Eve,

For the hearts that still believe,

In Santa Claus