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Sadness or Depression? Who really knows?


Michael

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Depression is blamed for so many things, and we are told all stroke survivors have some type of it. I think I may have a way to describe the empty feeling the stroke left me with, It's like a schizophrenic must feel. From what I have read about schizophrenia, seems quite similar. I really don't like feeling this way, but doctors only answer is to put me on anti-depressives. They don't really know why they work, except to say it is "believed" they increase serotonin which helps neurotransmitters in the brain which eases the depression. I believe the "alone in here" feeling survivors get is generally alike from case to case. I know I feel a little off my rocker when the "alone in here" feeling gets really overwhelming. I realize every stroke survivor goes through the whole experience differently, but we all have had that empty feeling. Sometimes, I can man up and tell it to shut up and go away, other times it grabs me by my collar and yanks me down. I realize I am not as strong willed as some, heck I've had folks on here tell me to be more positive minded. That's all good to say and all, but for some of us just don't have that kind of fortitude.

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hey Micheal:

 

I suffered from depression or sadness after my stroke & antidepressant did help me big time in the begining though I did not like being on them. So I started setting smaller goals to come off them. for me blogging & looking at positives in my life every day was huge help to be able to get off them slowly. I still feel down sometimes but hanging out here with other survivors helps me dea with my down days.

 

Asha

 

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Michael,

 

the antidepressant thing....been there. can it help....yes it can. but there is more i know.

 

Friend. please trust me....i understand this place you are talking about. and i understand that when it is so very,very dark and seemingly hopeless....i know so well that it seems no one can come to the place you are, and know what it is fully that you feel. i know, too, that i can't say something to make it all go away, or make you suddenly "snap out of it," or give you a few words that will "inspire" the depression to go away.

 

but let me tell you i wish i could. i wish i could say something to ya to make the hurt be gone. i know that place, and that place feels lonely as hell, and, in fact, just plain feels like hell.

 

what i will tell you, however, is that when, and while you are there, i will be here , and many others will be here for ya whether you are smiling, laughing, or crying. we are here. and i promise you this...if you need someone to hear you out, i will listen, as i am sure many others here would. you are a fellow survivor, and i put my hand out and offer it to you in friendship to let you know you are not alone. you truly are not alone.

 

Brian

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My friend, I believe everyone goes through that road from time to time. It is times as these that I just give it all to God. He is the only one who can pull me out of it. I think for all of us, our lives have changed so much, it is such a moment in time in our lives.... but, I am greatful we have this site. It is wonderful to have others like us that we can share our experience, strength and hope with. I feel we are put here to teach one another special lessons from our own personal journey.

I applaud you for speaking so honestly about your feelings through your blog. You are helping others..... Just know, you are never alone. There is always someone special upstairs who is reaching out to you to carry you through.

 

Hugs, Jan

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Michael: I also know the feeling. Some days are better than others (I am also on anti-depressants & a med for anxiety) but there are days I want to crawl under the covers and not sleep all day. I can't sleep all day any more either so that wouldn't help. I lie still and listen to relaxing music every day and this seems to ground me more than other things I've tried. I pray morning and night and in between. I keep thinking I have reached "a bottom" and I will start rising up but full acceptance isn't coming yet, although I think it's getting close. I think one of our problems is try too accept we can't do what we used to be able to do. My experience on this board is that most of us were A personality do-it-all kind of people . Stroke is a hard nut to crack. Glad you shared; it helps to share and not stuff feelings inside. We are all here for each other. Your survivor friend, Leah :friends:

 

With God all things are possible

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Michael,

Please don't beat yourself up. This is not something you can just "man up" and get passed. This will take down the toughest of them. My husband is big on telling me to suck it up and actually wants me to believe that the whole tough love thing will actually make me stronger. At one point he did admit (although I'd never get him to repeat it) that if it were him instead of me, he'd never have been able to handle it.

Depressing doesn't begin to describe this. This really rips at you from the core. It hurts so deep that the pain is even at times beyond tears or description. You are not crazy or off your rocker at all.

The only way I can find to describe it is no matter what ever happened to make me sad or was problematic, nothing ever dampened my spirit and this did. This took away my glow, vivacity and love of life, and I don't know how to get that back.

Hanging out with us does help a great deal because we get how you feel, can relate, and know the importance of laughter and a good pick me up since life doesn't do it so naturally for us anymore.

 

Maria :hug:

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Michael,

I just wanted to say I am cheering you on.... The words from the others are all so true that there's nothing I can add.

 

Keep on expressing and sharing your thoughts. It helps in the recovery process. I applaud you for being so honest with your feelings.

 

Stessie

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Michael,

I just wanted to say I am cheering you on.... The words from the others are all so true that there's nothing I can add.

 

Keep on expressing and sharing your thoughts. It helps in the recovery process. I applaud you for being so honest with your feelings.

 

Stessie

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Micheal

 

I call it a stranger within, I just started anti-depressants four weeks ago, my stroke was July 29th, 2009, it's a learning experience. What I have found is talking to others. It makes the empty feeling go away. Communications is vital. I write blogs and review articles. With the stroke I felt all by myself. It takes me along time to write or review, I do it. It's a goal I set for myself. I want to be back to me, so I have to retrain myself. Think positive and tell us how you feel. Your thoughts are important, someone out there needs to hear how you feel so they know they are not alone. Keep writing, we will keep reading and replying.

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im new to this site im 56 an had a stroke at 41 on my left side an its hard for me to walk in shoes i take alot pills an have a itp pump in my belly my emails, littleman5@hotmail.com, i would like to make some friends on here so feel free to email me ok ?

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HI MIKE YEP I KNOW WHAT YOU SAYING. DEPRESSION SUCKS. I WAS NEVER LIKE THIS BEFORE...NEVER!!!IT SUCKS. I DON'T THINK PILLS ARE THE ANSWER EITHER FOR ME !!!THE STROKE REALLY CHANGED MY LIFE AND TRYING TO STAY POSITIVE ALSO IS REALLY HARD, WHILE EVERYONE'S LIFE GOES ON AND YOUR TRYING AND STRUGGLING WITH YOUR STROKE TO GET BETTER AND READING, EXCERSISING ETC.. AND FIGHTING THE TIREDNESS. DOES THIS MAKE SENSE?? WISHING YOU PRAYERS..PATTY

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