Only Temporary Pointless Therapy. That is the acronym I made up after my first day of therapy on Wednesday. I was just so frustrated. I was counting down until 8:00 chat then forgot about it Well on Wednesday I had physical therapy and on Thursday I had ocupational therapy. Today I had both. Wednesday was actually pretty good.
I practiced curling my toes on a towel, laying on my stmach and trying to bend my ankle so my toes touch the mat, and shifting my weight to the left side by grabbing objects in the bucket then putting them in the bucket to my other side while my pt held my leg straight. I came to the conclusion that when I was in high school, my knee always popped back. My doctor told me if I didnt stop that knee from popping back, I wouldnt be able to walk at my prom. Scared, i tried my best to keep my knee from popping back by putting my weight to my right side which also kept me from falling. My goal in physical therapy is to restore my confidence back in my left leg and shift my weight without going back to popping my knee. I couldnt see results but I felt them. My left butt cheek was sore all day! Today did more balance and worked out on the stair stepper. I like physical therapy because there are so many people in there who can walk but are just trying to walk better just like me. I can relate with them and I feel like we are in it together. I also like my therapist. She lets me take a break, encourages me, and tells me when Im really doing good. She also holds my knee and stands close so I never feel like Im going to fall. I dont think its so pointless after all
I wish I could say the same for OT but I cant. Pt seems so much easier since I can already walk. Its basically a mind game just restoring my confidence in my left leg and working on balance. Ot on the other hand (no pun intended) is kind of discouraging. On the first day my ot told me I have muscles that just dont work anymore and she even reminded me that the doctor said the same thing so from day one I felt like Im never going to get better. Yesterday I kept saying I cant and she told me I got to stop saying that. I went ahead and asked why? You ad the Dr. already told me I cant so why cant I say it too? She got quiet. I think thats when she realized she'd discouraged me on our first day. Well she has been trying to be more positive now. Yesterday we used heat and it was wonderful! After I took the heat off and unwrapped my hand, it was completely pain free and my wrist and fingers were straight. I felt so encouraged that one day it will be permanent. Well today was the downfall. We did the same things from yesterday (weight bearing, stretching my wrist back, straightening my elbow and raising my arm to the sky) except this time it was constant pain. It never straightened out like it did yesterday and to make matters worse, my right shoulder and arm are more sore than my left side from using all my good arm strength to keep my bad arm straight during weight bearing
All in all I am exhausted. I had OT at 8am and PT at 9 but even after taking a 2-3 hour nap, Im still tired. I have my home exercise programs (yay) and Im still reading Stronger After Stroke but Im just not motivated to exercise and read right now because I cant help but feel like a month from now when the insurance runs out, Im going to be the same. I guess I just need a big plate of faith with a side of courage and a cup of hope. Pray for me