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stress on marriage



last week we rented a car and drove from Michigan to Kansas to see our property. it was fun but all i did was eat,sit while my husband drove and slept. we were there an back in 6 days.we had some rain going there, but fortunately we missed all the big storms and tornadoes. . it was fun but tiring. but the next day, reality hit home again. the friends were calling and coming by, the beer started and i was left sitting in the house again, by myself! i know ive let this happen thru out our marriage but since the stroke , i find i can t tolerate it anymore.our house is n o t the party house!!!!! plus he told me to...not to bother him . i was stunned.i felt like a knife was put thru my heart. but 10 min later, the buddies came over, with the beers and i was forgotten once again.before i could get in my car and leave, now i can t drive so i am stuck here and hating all the partying in our 4 car garage while i sit in the house again. im sure we had some marriage problems like everyone else but after the stroke, i find this less tolerable. he told me im just jealous that he has so many friends and i hae none and this is hie house, too, and if they want to come over and drink, so be it! i have read that strokes are very hard and stressful on a marriage and they can end most marriages.i find and think that my stroke will do us in.don t get me wrong, there are a lot of positive things in our marriage and he has helped me some to get better but i can see all the new stresses on us and the remarks made by him to me.believe me i don t want to complain om this blog but this is so new to me its scary!


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sorry you are going through diffiult tie in your marriage. I feel Marriage is all about adjustments to one another's needs. how about when he is having his down time with his friends, you chill out with book or come on strokenet & chill out with your friends here. hope you have better day tomorrow.



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I can't say this is our experience but I know that happens in the life of one of my sister-in-laws. So she has a "sitting room" a space she has made her own and when his mates come for a boozy party she goes there, turns on her music, makes phone calls, even had a small refrigerator with her own drinks.


I think if anything her husband is a bit jealous of her "den" as he calls it.


I think in every marriage you have to have some seperate time and space. So put in your order to him and say: you want your space, I want these things so I can have mine. Give and take should be even on both sides...I wish it were so.


(((hugs))) from Sue.

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Patty: I am sorry. It is difficult on relationships-this stroke mess. Maybe you could call on a friend and do a movie night or just window shop?


He is also adjusting. This is a major change in both of your lives and your relationship. There are no rules or guidelines. You did just return from a jaunt and he did a lot of the work, so he still has great concern for his marriage and life.


I also agree with Sue and have your space. My Bruce used to say our time apart brought more to our relationship and I still believe that. Try a quiet, non-confrontational conversation. It may shed some light on his feelings. Best, Debbie

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