• entries
    131
  • comments
    383
  • views
    53,304

I Wish Everything Ran on Manuals

lydiacevedo

Entry posted by lydiacevedo

731 views

 Share

I'm a technical writer, by training and experience. Most of my career has been centered around writing and publishing "how To" documentation on the company intranet, creating training for products and services, and the like.

 

I have no problem creating a forum post or a blog that says, in written word, exactly how I am feeling. The problem is, that seems to be the only way I can communicate my emotions and have them understood.

 

When speaking, words fail me. I don't have virtual dictionaries at my fingertips, like I do when I work on an article. There is no bolding, italicizing or underlining spoke words for emphasis. Voice inflection seems to be something I am now lacking. I can paint a picture in words of any emotion in the living phyche. But when I try to express that feeling in spoken words, and even body language, the meanings get all crossed, or don't come out at all.

 

Rachel (I think it was) suggested that I copy and past one of my forum posts about expressing emotions into a word document and print it out for my friends and family to read. It's a pretty good idea. I've even though of compiling everything I have written on this site into a sort of manual on dealing with the post-stroke Lydi.

 

The problem is that, at some point, Lydi is going to have to actually talk to some one. That is where things go off.

 

Writing (typing), I cna take time to get the words I want out, or change words to better explain a meaning. I can come back to an idea later if I totally lose it. When speaking, things move too fast and are too fluid to be able to do that. Worse yet if speaking on the phone, where the other person can't see me stop and try to get a word or idea out. They think I hung up on them, instead.

 

It's gotten to the point where, unless I am absolutely comfortable around the people with whom we are speaking, like family and close friends, I will defer conversation to Sam. I just simply won't say anything at all, or only nod my head in agreement. Even when some one asks me a direct question, the minute I get stuck trying to speak, I look at Sam and silently pleasd for him to take over and get me out of this. God love him, he does it every time, without missing a beat.

 

If everything ran according to a manual, life would be easy. People could just look up their conversations on whatever page were listed in the table of contents. Unfortunately, hte world doesn't work like that.

 Share

3 Comments

Recommended Comments

Ethyl17

Lidi, honey. Your education and training may be the problem here.

 

My Bruce is a Master's in English. I honestly think with his command of language, his aphasia was a bit easier to deal with in that he had so many substitutes for words, could often get us to where he wanted us to go. Some are very obscure, lol, but we can usually figure it out.

 

That said, he still battles daily with conversation. Bruce likes to embellish, it is second nature to him. Pre-stroke, the joke in this house was "Bruce, I don't need a dissertation, just a yes-no will do." And old habits are hard to break, even post stroke.

 

Of course it is easier for him with close friends and family. We have all been trained by Speech as to how to approach this. And unlike you he is 100% better on the phone than in person.

 

Key here is don't give up and defer. Find some time to sit with a close friend. Chose one topic: current fashion, diets, pets, child rearing. Do not vary from it. Write it down in front of both of you and just work at taking your time, forming questions and answers and then sharing them.

 

Most people in a social situation do not even listen to themselves, yet alone others. In time, when the subject changes you will find you can better cope. Bruce is much better with that now. But we had friends and family call or visit almost daily and stuck to the strategies Speech gave us. Now, two years post, all of us notice the improvement. We also know when he gets tired and confused and then will stop.

 

Just keep at it. Debbie

Link to comment
Guest hostwill

Guest hostwill

Posted

LYDIA,

 

I TOO WAS A TECHNICAL WRITER FOR NORTHROP GRUMMAN ON HOW TO MAINTAIN THE B-2 STEALTH BOMBER. MANUALS ARE GREAT, IF YOU REMEMBER WHERE YOU PUT THEM. LOL. I HAVE LOTS OF GADGETS AND THEY HAVE MANUALS SOMEWHERE. I FOUND ONE IN THE FREEZER NEXT TO MY CAR KEYS.LOL. I GUESS HAVING EVERYTHING IS NICE NEAT PACKAGES IS A UTOPIA. BUT I STILL HOPE FOR THE BEST. A LOT OF PPL HAVE REACHED THEIR LEVEL OF IMCOMPETENCE BUT DON'T REALIZE IT. THE PETER PRINCIPLE I BELIEVE IT IS CALLED. PERHAPS WITH TIME, THINGS WILL CHANGE FOR THE BETTER LIKE A FINE WINE OR GOOD CHEESE. UNTIL THEN, TRY NOT TO BE TO CYNICAL LIKE ME.

 

WILL SENDS...

Link to comment
leese

I was thinking about blogging on a related subject. I'm ok verbally most of the time, but there is a deficit in plucking out the right words verbally and in writing. My fine tuning is amiss. Things like using subjective instead of objective, cannibalize instead of canabilism...close but entirely different meanings that I wouldn't have missed before. Then I don't realize it until long after the conversation, email or post. and like you, so it seems, words mean a lot to me.But...It's gotten better for me. Not only the deficit itself, but the ability to not be as bothered when I botch it up.

Link to comment
Guest
Add a comment...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×