winter, weight and clearing up
I am just sitting here wondering what we will do if Ray keeps putting on weight? I just sorted out his wardrobe and he can wear about a quarter of last winter’s clothes. Unfortunately men do not wear elastic waisted or loose fitting garments like women do so the change is really noticeable now. It is a pity as he has some really nice clothes he can’t wear now.
Like most semi hemis (someone who is partially paralyzed down one side) Ray has trouble getting dressed and needs his garments probably a size bigger than he would otherwise wear so they will go across his shoulders. Some of his larger clothes were bought before the major strokes and so they weren’t bought to be put on one handedly so I have to help him get dressed again. It is not good for him and is taking me away from preparing breakfast so we seem to run a bit later every day. For an “on time” person like me this is a major annoyance.
Ray was always fairly slim and for many years stable in weight. As part of his Fisheries job he did a lot of walking, along river banks, up and down mountains streams, along the seashore. As part of his later carpentry job he worked a distance from his workshop and walked back and forth collecting materials and tools. He was up and down ladders, staircases, up on the roof etc and carried heavy loads so the weight stayed off.
In the first few years after his major strokes he was busy exercising and did walk a lot with his stick, I rarely pushed him in the wheelchair back then. But after the broken pelvic in 2007 he found walking difficult and walked less and less. Now he hardly walks at all and his appetite seems to have increased again – so the weight gain happened.
On Sunday we are going to an old friend’s wedding. He is marrying a lady deacon at one of the neighboring parishes so they are getting married as part of the normal Sunday service and there will be a large morning tea as a wedding breakfast afterwards. At least Ray will get away with not wearing a suit and I will not have to wear a hat. Saves me looking ridiculous, as I am not a hat person.
The reason I started looking at Ray’s clothes was because I am trying to get the house under control again. The diabetic blister situation with all the doctors’ appointments, visits to the podiatrists etc took so much time I didn't make the most of summer. So now I have to use the short dark days to do the clearing up and throwing out I usually do in summer. Sometimes I wish I could toss the contents of the house on the lawn and only bring back inside what I really want. This would leave us with nowhere to sit and no storage space so I suppose I can't do that. But I would like to.
Since the strokes in 1999 we haven’t done a lot to the house though we did get the roof fixed, put on the new carport and get the built-in wardrobe in our bedroom. Last year I also got some painting done and that will continue again soon, our handyman is without work again so he came back around looking for some odd jobs. I am not happy with the way he left last time but tradesmen are as rare as hen’s teeth so I need to consider what I want done next.
I sent out another email asking for people to contact us with their news as even that source of communication seems to be drying up. I realise sometimes that unless I do the reaching out to people it is easy for them to forget us, after all we are no longer moving in the same circles and they don’t see us as part of their busy everyday lives. I understand that but still need to have some friends. I want friends both now and in the period “afterwards” (like after Ray goes into care if that happens) and I am alone again.
You really don’t know what you will do in the future anyway do you? I suppose the future is like another hypothetical where we say well if this happens then maybe that happens? There is no evidence, no timeline, no training courses to handle an unknown future. We just go on with the present we have and hope the future takes care of itself.