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Feeling Blue



Monster is sleeping not more than 2 feet away from me, Cally is in hte food bowl again, Nikki is asleep in Oni's spot in hte den, Oni is taking up my entire lap (and making it a little hard to type). Sam is off to day 2 of his advanced motorcycle rider's class.I've run aload of dishes and a load of laundry. I'm exhausted and really should lay down for a nap.


Yesterday, I took Mon to the vet - clean bill of health, only 1 little pelota that is undersized for his age, leaving questions about his verility and the need to neuter him at all, and 50 pounds of nice lean muscle. He's doing beautifully. After we came home, I ran a load of dishes and pretty much, we just layed around hte house watching movies and listening to hte thunderstorm. Sam came home from his class about 5pm. We went grocery shopping after that. I was exhauste by the time we got home. I hadn't really done anything all day and was ready to call it a night already.


I haven 't really done anything today, either, and all I want to dois sleep. Sam says that is because I need to recover from my week at the office. Does it really leave me so depleted? Sam says it does and I'm just starting to really notice it, since things have started to quiet down and I'm not pushing myself til I hit a proverbial wall and "tap out" for the day. I don't know, maybe he is right.


I guess I just didn't expect to be this tired, nearly 5 months post. Maybe I was fooling myself. I'm not 20 and in athlete shape any more. But I just feel like I should have more energy than I seem to have. What do I know? there are people here who are years post and haven't gotten their energy back. Maybe retirement really is the best thing for me.




I guess I'm just having one of my blue days, and that what has my spirits down. I keep telling myself that I'm doing really well for so short a period of time post. After all, I went back to work at all and I've managed to be able to do 30 hours, even if I am very tired at he end of th week. I'm allowed to drive again, even if it is for short distances. I can drive again. I'm not using the rollator very often, just Monster and a cane. I'm getting used to the difference in vision, and while I may not be able to read for long periods of time, I can read still. Audiobooks aren't a need, they are a want for the sake of ease. I'm still improving, I just get tired a lot easier and a lot sooner than I used to. I've come a long way in only 5 months. I'm really blessed to be doing so well.




I guess, sometimes, I just need to remind myself that. Right now, I think I need that nap.


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i think 30 hrs. may be pressing it a bit. i feel tired most of the time but i am much older 61 almost 10 yrs. post.walking with the use of the walkaid, i still feel like i'm dr but now although i continue to push myself i don't overdo.agging an extra 25 lb. because my leg and hip don't really work.more than your brain needs a little rest. i used to be very active. now i just have to pace myself.don't be too hard on yourself and take that break when your body tells you to. i think one of the best thing is to truly listen to what your body is trying to tell you.at 5 months, you still have a lot of healing to do.be kind to yourself. wishing you only the best. blessings lynn

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After the first stroke Ray had six months off and returned to work. He came in and crashed in the armchair, I would wake him up for dinner, then by 8.30pm he was in bed. He slept Saturday and Sunday afternoon. This went on for 8 1/2 years before the next two strokes in 1999 retired us both.


Some strokes give you massive fatigue issues. Our neuro said it is like taking an athlete and running them around a football field at half the normal speed but twice the number of rounds, they get more tired and use more than twice the energy. He says that is the way it is after strokes in Ray's case as the rewired brain is about half as efficient as before the strokes.


Good luck with your decision making and remember to pace yourself, this is not a sprint it is a marathon.



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don't be so hard on yourself. I think stroke aged us atleast 20 years in an instant. Since we are not dead yet, we have to start getting used with new change & this new body which aged 20 years in an instant, so get used to your 60 year old body at 40. we can only adjust to that by being kind to ourself. pace yourself & appreciate the things we can still do even after such a big assualt on our body.




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