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Ponderings


lydiacevedo

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A whole lot has happened in my world since Christmas.

 

I had a stroke

I found Stroke Net

I went back to work

My daughter got engaged and moved into her own apartment with her fiancee

My oldest son moved into his own apartment

I got a service dog

I had another stroke

My youngest son moved into his sister's apartment

My grandfather's estate is ready to be finally settled

 

It's only been 5 months since all of this happened.

 

Sometimes I look around and I ask myself how in the world I am handling all of this. Other days I ask myself how in the world I'm going to handle all of this. It depends on my energy level at the time.

 

Wow, the past 5 months have been a rollar coaster. What will the next 5 months be? Not as up and down, I hope. I could stand for a little calm and steady for a while.

 

I guess, I'm looking at all of this because, for so much to happen in so short a period of time, it all seems like it's just too much. I feel like a giant wave keeps scrashing over me, just as soon as I finally have my breath back from the last one. It's just too much. I'm exhausted. I don't know how much longer I can keep up the pace.

 

Sometimes even posting comments to the forum threads seems like it will take more than I have to give. Even the number of times I post to my blog a week has gone down.

 

Do we hit rough patches, like this, in the recovery process? Are there going to be times when we just feel too tired or too stressed to do even the simple little things? Will this too pass?

 

Probably, the answer to all of these questions is "yes." At least, I hope it is. If it weren't, it might signal that the whole heart thing is really catching up to me again. I hope not. Yes, I plan to ask my doctor about it on teh 27th, at my next appointment.

 

I just have to get there.

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Lydia:

 

that's what life is all about some great moments & some not as good, but we all march on with tune in our head. you will find routine once you retire & settle into new rhythm of life. I worry about what will I do when kido goes out to college, but when I do that, I have to remind myself enjoy the current teenage moments with him cause I am going to miss those moments when he will no longer need us as much :), but right now we all are team together.

 

Asha

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Maybe you need a one-a-day energy pill? My wife keep telling me I need one but I have plenty energy and no time to be or get depressed. Oh, maybe she means "in bed"? by then I'm resting up for the next busy day after I know for sure she was satisfied. I had a stroke, it don't take me all night!

 

In all seriousness, my pondering turn out to be wondering. I wonder a lot every day. I even tell myself, "I wonder if I'm going to Walmart today." knowing all the time I'm going and they are open 24/7. I have gone there at 11pm to shop! End up talking to the one's I know and worked with for hours! :Clap-Hands: :big_grin: Oh well!

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Lydia: 2 years in, yes, it still happens. We had a caregiver on vacation and another who's Dad died, so for two weeks it was me and Leo. Incredible two weeks for Bruce: did his pool, work and Animal Haven volunteering with me-no argument. Leo came at four: they made dinner together, laundry, change for bed, walk to bed, splint on. No trouble. Last four days, Bruce was totally continent.

 

New week: Jen and Cathy are back. No pool with Jen on Tuesday and I just got home from work to a clothing-pad change because he would not go to toilet with Cathy before bed.

 

Advice: don't fall for the routine is now good, we can move on. Don't try to project or wonder. Work every day best you can. Review successes and back steps, but don't take them to heart. Again, you must rest when your body tells you and figure out what works to reduce stress. Balance. Debbie

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