Stroke Caregiver - female
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About MaryJo

  • Rank
    Associate Mentor
  • Birthday 09/24/1948

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  • Stroke Anniversary (first stroke)
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  • Interests
    Sewing, reading mystery novels, baking (especially bread), Paint Shop Pro
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  1. MaryJo

    Checking In

    A short bio since I've been off of StrokeNet for almost eight years. I live in Indiana which is in the middle of the US. My husband, Dan, stroked in 2009 and passed away in 2013 as a result of surgery. I truly can't believe that he's been gone so long, I still think of him and miss him every day. People say that you eventually get over the death of a loved one, I don't believe that to be true. I don't think you ever "get over" it rather you are able to accept it for what it is. My mantra after Dan's stroke was "It is what it is but it will be what you make it". This is still
  2. Happy Anniversary MaryJo!

  3. Happy Anniversary MaryJo!

  4. MaryJo

    Nancy, You are allowed to be crabby too! My Dan always did things just to irritate me...he knew exactly which buttons to push to get a reaction. I'd ask him what he wanted for dinner; he'd say I don't know; I'd fix dinner; he'd say that's not what I want, I want blah blah blah; the irritating part was that he truly expected me to fix his blah blah blah. Uh, I don't think so. I remember one time he was so angry at me he left the table and went to his room and just stared at the wall until bedtime. Just like a 4 year old would do! It made me angry at the time but the longer he just sat th
  5. MaryJo

    Asha, I could feel Dan smiling and with me the whole week, I think that's why I feel so at peace. Nancy, Hugs to you too honey, hang in there. Julie, IMO, New England is truly God's country. Donna, I've always thought it sad that people who knew Dan post stroke never knew that the meaness is not how he was pre-stroke. He was a good, caring, kind man. I think of all of you often. I do continue to be a lurker, but I will check in occasionally! Hugs to all.
  6. MaryJo

    Thank you Cinder, I'm glad you enjoyed my post. I don't know your status, but I'll be thinking of you also...we're all on a journey, some are just different than others. Hugs.
  7. MaryJo

    Julie, Sounds like both of you had a good time. It was good for Larry to visit with his old friends. Enjoy the sunshine. I agree with you about the cold and snow staying away. However, I disagree about the World Series...Go Sox! lol
  8. MaryJo

    Closure and Peace

    I wasn't sure what to do with Dan's ashes after his memorial mass. I scattered some of them along a trail he used to enjoy visiting, some of them were scattered with his mom's ashes at her parents gravesite with some mums. The rest of them, and the bulk of them, I decided to take to Maine were we loved to visit. When we lived in Massachusetts we used to visit Kennebunkport, ME every fall. Oh, what beautiful country! We usually went after peak foiliage season because the rates were lower...ever the accountant was Dan! lol I took Jeff, our friend and Dan's caregiver for two years, as a way
  9. MaryJo

    I know exactly how you feel Sue. I learned to be self sufficient right after Dan's stroke so, on that part I'm doing ok. That's not to say that I'm not tired of doing it all, all of the time. I HATE it! But, it is what it is. The couples envy gets to me too. When I get envious I remind myself that I don't have a clue what their lives are like. They could be miserable and hate each other. At least you and Ray loved each other! That's the part that we need to remember. You know you can do it because you're such a strong woman, but that doesn't mean that you have to WANT to do it! Big
  10. Our weather has changed drastically. We've dropped over 20° in the last few days. I love the cooler weather, I just wish the sun would shine. I started my day with plans of cutting back the daisies, cleaning up the day lillys, and pulling weeds. All of the above are about two weeks overdue. None of them got done. This morning I was sitting in the kitchen reading the Sunday newspaper, drinking coffee, and planning my yard work activities. Then I started remembering Sunday the way it used to be. Up early, go to church, come home, Dan fixing breakfast, me setting the table, discussing the d
  11. MaryJo

    Nancy, I hope your move is going well. I know you're excited and nervous at the same time. I moved us from OH to IN, you're right...once you get in the groove you're off and running! The unpacking was the difficult part for me. Taking care of Dan and trying to put things away. Dan's family helped out a LOT. I hope you've got some help getting the move and unpack accomplished. Don't be afraid to ask for help!! Good luck and hugs. Mary Jo
  12. MaryJo

    Oh Sue, I truly feel your loss and pain. There is a loneliness that can't be described. Like you, I'm staying busy; but eventually I sit down in my own house and listen to the emptiness. There's a difference between listening to the quiet and listening to the emptiness. I'm only two months into being without Dan, it's so very hard to imagine the rest of my life without him. For whatever reason, this is God's plan and I know that we will get through it somehow. Peace and Blessings to you Sue.
  13. MaryJo

    Ditto that from me Fred!!
  14. MaryJo

    Loralye11, Welcome to StrokeNet. This wonderful group of people have supported me through good times, bad times, and even worse times. lol I'm so glad that what I've written has helped someone else start healing from the effects of stroke. I'm glad you're feeling a little better. Bless you an (((((hugs)))))
  15. MaryJo

    Thanks all for your great words of support. Fred, thanks for sharing your story of "Just Me". You've been through so much in your life, yet the words you wrote convey your happiness, celebration of life, and love for your wonderful wife. Hopefully I'll be lucky enough to meet someone who I will love and who will love me in return. God bless you and your lovely wife. You're a very lucky man.