Stroke Survivor - male
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About PaulNash

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    Associate Mentor
  • Birthday 05/18/1958

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  • Stroke Anniversary (second stroke)
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  1. Thaks Becky. When I am busy doing stuff and feel that I am contributing in some way, things aren't too bad. As far as I can tell, the biggest problem is my relationship with Linda, which I hope will improve when she gets to go back to work at the Humane Society, rather than working at home, and sees other people IRL instead of over zoom calls. Right now I'm trying to exercise as regularly as I can (given the weather, snow and ice), which helps my mood and my resilience. Other than that, it's one day at a time. Sometimes one minute at a time. I used to run ultra-mara
  2. Heather and Janelle Thanks for the kind words and useful advice. Just reading the Stroke Board is a huge comfort, knowing that I am not alone and not malingering. It's also a huge relief being able to talk to people who are going through the same things themselves. And there are occasional eureka! moments, that help me try to change the way that I think or act. Part of my memory issue is that things are erratic. I have anterograde amnesia, so I can remember all sorts of details of trivial things that happened in my childhood, or 6 years ago, but not remember why we
  3. I have been offline, just reconnected and saw this now. This space that Steve created has played an enormous part in keeping me sane and alive. I owe him (and everyone else on this site) a debt that I can never repay.
  4. I think that I am losing it In a big way. Last week I had a major blowup and my long-suffering wife. I accused her of gaslighting me; thinking that she was telling me that I was failing in all areas, that she was accusing me of not supporting her while we were in lockdown, and on and on. Then I stormed off and went to go to sleep in one of the kids' bedrooms (this child left home a year ago, but we keep her bed made up just in case). Linda came and dragged me up to our bed. Next morning (and evert morning thereafter), I was contrite, not sure what had come over me, and she has
  5. PaulNash

    Wow! That is a really impressive set of achievements! I never knew that I was in such exalted company.
  6. Wow; Gbale that is really shocking. That has to be super-tough to cope with. You are a remarkable person to be able to deal with that. Keep fighting!
  7. PaulNash

    Good luck! I hope that his is one of those huge leaps forward. Let us know how it goes (the clinic) and please please please keep us updated after the procedure, so that we can follow your progress. Holding thumbs that this returns you to a pre-stroke state!
  8. PaulNash

    Still here, still alive. Been seriously busy (DIY home reno, gardening, work. Also pretty depressed (domestic issues exacerbated by COVID restrictions). Keeping going, day to day.
  9. PaulNash

    Will2, I could not have put it better. This site is a sanity- and life-saver
  10. Hi Jim I may be way out of line being proscriptive, but what the heck, here goes. Feel free to ignore this and to tell me to shut up. This all assumes that things are salvageable (and there is probably no harm in assuming that). First, try (if you can and she is receptive) to let her know that you understand that she's upset, under pressure, and that you are trying to change how you live your life and how you interact with her. See whether she is prepared to open a dialog about what needs to change, what the priorities are. Linda and I do this from time t
  11. PaulNash

    If you are interested in wildlife, there are fixed tents like that at various Southern African reserves that I have stayed at. If you are interested and can cope with long-distance travel, Etosha Pan (Namibia) has 5-star arrangements, I have seen some in Zimbabwe (especially on the Zambezi river), but their current state is unknown. And the most amazing of the lot was in Zambia -- basic accomodation (2- or 3-star rather than 5-star in Etosha), but the animals wander around really close to the site in the evenings, looking for unwary tourists And Kruger Park in South Afri
  12. PaulNash

    My father died quickly and peacefully. I think about him and all the good parts of his life on both anniversaries. My children are tired of hearing the same old stories over and over, so I tell them to myself instead. My mother died slowly, with Parkinson's. My major thought on her anniversaries is gratitude that she eventually died, and that her death was painless. Then I think about her life, which was complicated, and how she managed to deal with it. I get more and more sympathetic and impressed each passing year.
  13. PaulNash

    Kelli, I don't know how you do it. That is real dedication! I'v been working partly from home, partly on-site for most of my working life (IT/network geek) The split used to vary from 100% on-site to 100% remote, depending on what I was doing and who I was doing it for (it's hard to pull network cables if you are not actually there). Currently, I try to go on-site as seldom as possible, but there are still times when I have to be physically present. I get edgy, but the customers mostly get even more edgy, so we stay well clear of each other. Or I go in when they are
  14. PaulNash

    Wow. I have just been to my family doc who thinks that I have gout in one toe. Sounds like is is as actually spasticity. That toe scrunches up, muscles tight as can be, and gets really painful after a while. Only relief so far is if I straighten it manually (push down with the other foot while sitting). Onset was around a time when my other leg (the effected one) started to behave significantly better. I'll bring this up with my neurologist at my next consult, and see whether he has any ideas. Family doc wanted to put pin down the length of the toe to hold it strai
  15. PaulNash

    Thanks you Kelli I want on two CBT courses post-stroke, which helped for a while, but with my memory issues I kept forgetting to use it, or if I remembered I forgot how to do it, and would generally end up feeling worse. This is great -- I have printed it & stuck it to the wall in my "quiet space", so that I can run through the steps easily when I am feeling overwhelmed, depressed or angry.