Stroke Caregiver - male
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About LgSeaunier

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    Associate Member
  • Birthday 03/03/1958

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  1. LgSeaunier

    Don't get me wrong Becky, I couldn't befriend a cat. I just have too many of them. Roscoe could only happen sometime in the distant future. I said things in a way that reflected how I was feeling at the time. Apologies.
  2. LgSeaunier

    4/3 2021 (3:06am) I've been sitting in my car in front of the house now, for 5 hours, or close to it. I just can't get myself to go into that bedroom. And walking through the living room brings a flood of memories (very proud ones for a change). Let me start from the beginning. March 3 was my birthday. That night, my love couldn't walk. It took me 9 hours to get him from the front door to the bedroom. His left leg was so stiff I could hardly move it even with brute force, which is what I was using for 9 hours. I finely got him into bed, and the next morning he could walk, shaky and weakly
  3. LgSeaunier

    3/29/2021 (3am) Hello; I've been thinking of something today. For 60 years I've always been there to help everyone around me, and now, when I need someone – no one is there for me - - I'm alone. Just thought it was interesting. And another thing, after two heart attacks and my lovers death, I've come to the conclusion that life is too short to worry about anyone but me. One problem with that. I don't know how to think of me first. I've never done that in my life before. Oh well, I'll figure it out. Although - - - I am open for comments and suggestions (hint hint). I have tons
  4. LgSeaunier

    Hello again; 3:50am and I can't sleep. I thought I'd talk a bit, beings nobody wants me around them much anymore. It's funny, I've always been there for everyone when they needed to talk, but when I need someone to talk to - nobody wants me around. I have so much to do to tie up everything. I talk to my Lover every night, but that's when I get sad and tearful, then I just sit and stare until one in the morning. I need to make final arrangements for him, but I can't make the calls necessary to accomplish that. Maybe if I wait long enough, he'll come back to me (crazy notion I know). I've a
  5. LgSeaunier

    Terry V Suokko, my husband – my partner – my love – you were in a hospice house where death took you March 14, 2021 – at 4:47pm. You were in room 4 – and you were born in 1947. I miss you my love. And I always will.
  6. LgSeaunier

    3/12/2021 = 2:30am Hello again my friends; I just have to talk a bit and no one is here but my computer. An odd thing happened tonight. I was feeling and acting like Gollem from Lord of The Rings. I went crazy. For you see, When I had my second heart attack, the only reason I came back from death was because of my partner. I came back for him. And now he's leaving me. I don't see how he can come back from this, like I did. I don't understand. Why would God allow me to come back just for, in the end, me to be without my love? I don't get it. They say God always has a plan. I wish He'd
  7. LgSeaunier

    Hello my friends; This is going to be a rather lengthy post, so bear with me. Date 3/7/2021 I'm typing this in the hospital. My partner turned for the worse and the doctors have given up on him. According to them, he's die-ing. The doctor talked to me this morning and the team here has given up on him. He has less than six months to live, they say. Much less time they say. They suggest I take him to hospice and- - - “just let him go”. I found this out in one day. 3/4/2021. the day after my 63rd birthday. Let me tell you a story... I hav
  8. LgSeaunier

    I wrote an update yesterday but couldn't post it. I'll try again today. Things have turned bad. He's in the hospital.
  9. LgSeaunier

    My birthday tomorrow 3-3-19-- planned a good meal to cook. Hope I can, BBQ spareribs, corn bread, asparagus, and potato salad. Yummy Please Lord, make it a pleasant day!
  10. LgSeaunier

    I think when this is all over, I'll write a story about it. GOOD Thearapy (not spelled right? Hmmm. Spellchecker don't like it) hope you understand my thought.
  11. LgSeaunier

    No. He has no family. An only child & both parents are gone from this world. Which is why it's ethically and morally such a struggle for me. He was yelling so loudly outside today, that 4 sheriff cars stopped by to have a chat. I told one sheriff I was trying to get him placed. He asked who the caseworker was, I told him, he said she is really good. At least they all had a sense of humor about it.
  12. LgSeaunier

    How do I get the gumption to do what needs to be done? I don't know how. I told my "partner" tonight, that I don't want him in my life anymore. There was no reaction and no emotion about it. In fact, he told me he didn't want me in his life either. I told him that to see if there was anything left in him. There wasn't. So I ask... How do I get the gumption? I don't have fortitude for it either. I've never been in the position to break up with anyone. I don't know how to do it. Could someone help me out please? He tells me often that he's getting OUT. I'm tired of this nightmare! Can't somebody
  13. LgSeaunier

    A huge wave of regret flowed over and through me tonight. Am I doing the right thing? He wanted me to talk about it but I don't want him to get verbal on me again. As I kept getting this wave after wave of not doing the right thing I got angrier and angrier. I never do the right thing. Should I put a stop to what I've started?? I don't know anymore. I'm a piece of dung, a cowpie, a worm casting, for even thinking of myself first. He has no one but me in this world. I'm doing the wrong thing???
  14. LgSeaunier

    Thank you Heather there really isn't anything else to say. Ksmith, thank you for reminding me of what I posted. I needed that reminder. Thank you also for telling me some of your past. In a weird way it's nice to know I'm not alone in this. I'll think about finding someone to talk to, not knowing who but it's worth looking for someone. FYI. This is the third day of constant verbal abuse and control of me. If I try to talk to him about it, it only makes it worse, so I just clam up and become numb. The caseworker will be calling me Monday morning (tomorrow) I hope she h
  15. LgSeaunier

    pray for me - PLEASE !!! I've been verbally abused non stop all day. PLEASE GOD! LET THIS NIGHTMARE END!!! AND MAKE IT QUICK!!!!!