Stroke Caregiver - female
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About RLT

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    Associate Mentor

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  • Stroke Anniversary (first stroke)
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  1. RLT

    Here may be a surprise response as I am one of those many who drifted away from Strokenet. Even still, certain blogs are delivered to my email regularly including yours, Sue. I want to add my thank you to Steve. The support and especially the education I received here changed my life. My husband stroked nearly 16 years ago. He had fewer abilities than a new born then but though hard work he was able to walk, talk and care for himself when left alone for short periods of time. Overtime he began declining and experienced caregivers (especially you Sue and Ann) diagnosed his vascular dement
  2. Happy Anniversary RLT!

  3. Happy Anniversary RLT!

  4. Happy Anniversary RLT!

  5. RLT

    The decision that this was not a safe discharge was made by the people coordinating MFP. They actually brought three levels of management to our last meeting to prop up this decision. They claim that it is their licenses on the line with this discharge. They are also telling me that getting Dick readmitted into long-term care would be extremely difficult because new laws are making it so. In their opinion, I guess, I should hang on to the long-term care benefits that Dick has because they will not be available in the future. A very ugly picture is arising. Since the changes in healthc
  6. RLT

    Now what?

    Holidays, graduations, out of town guests, kids coming, kids going, meetings, appointments…! April and May hit like a tornado and things have yet to stop spinning. As the saying goes.. the hurrieder I go the behinder I get. I didn’t even look at my computer for a month and a half and I only got a few peeks a week the rest of the time. Then – nothing! I have only one thing on schedule for the rest of this month. Now I am wondering what to do next. I have shared my journey since last fall to make arrangements to bring my husband home using the Money Follows the Person incentive progr
  7. RLT

    Congratulations, Sue, both on your birthday and new granddaughter. Adjusting to those quiet visits takes time. I find I run out of things to talk about and I must be careful what we discuss because there are topics that cause distress. I fall back on reading books. Dick cannot follow a difficult story line unless it is familiar to him. I am able to do J R R Tolkein books because we have read them before and he has watched the movies. But when I bring in new material children's books work better. I like Patricia St. John books because Dick seems to follow her stories well. Glad to see y
  8. RLT

    Ruth, Dick too obsesses about things on the floor! He wants me to stop what I am doing to pick up a tiny speck. Drives me nuts! He also likes to direct my vacuuming. The other thing that Dick does is fuss about how the bed is made. I can only imagine that it is throwback to military days. I have learned to say "no" when I am busy. Eventually he gets over it! I again praise you for the commitment and energy you give to swimming. I love Fred's suggestion for the powder situation! Ruth
  9. RLT

    Debbie, I applaud your strength in letting Leo go. Bruce's saftey and your peace of mind have top priority and Leo just was not fitting the bill. The good news about having test come back with bad news is that you can now take steps to "fix" things. Please do take care of yourself so that the damage can be reversed and your back is strengthened. You may have to remind me to do this later but do put yourself first sometimes. It is far too easy for us to pour every ounce into our loved ones and neglect ourselves. Sounds like Bruce has earned some gold stars! My daughter brought a gold sta
  10. RLT

    Ruth, I think that certain concepts are broken by stroke. Dick never has voluntarily exercised and unless I stand over him and force him he will not do anything with a therapist. After his heart attack in 1974 he drove himself to walk five miles a day then began running part of that! So, the drive used to be in him. He cannot grasp the improtance of exercise now and never will. A disclaimer here is necessary: his "never will" is now due to his dementia. There are some ways that you can get informal exercise though. With Dick it was putting on his socks. For months it was a daily fight
  11. RLT

    Kelly, Just reread what you wrote - you have gone way beyond the call of duty! What you are feeling is really false guilt. I think everyone who is a primary caregiver does this and that is why the first rule of caregiving is to take care of yourself. Personally I believe that you need to place your husband and children as I higher priority as well. Your mother is not likely to like the change and that is understandable because change is frightening especially when the individual cannot control it. In all relationships, people tend to lash out at the person that they are closest to be
  12. RLT

    Julie, Where do you get Larry's hearing aids? We would never be able to fit Dick for one at this point sadly but I take care of my parents too. Both really need them but look to me to initiate. Ruth
  13. RLT

    Glad to see that you back up and running, Sue. Ruth
  14. RLT

    Sue, In a very real way the change in your life when Ray had to move out of your home is as big as the change of stroke. If we cannot find other people who are at that same stage it is all too easy to feel isolated. I have yet to find a support group that addresses the new set of responsibilities and challenges that come with a spouse in a nusing facility. I found myself pulling inside myself. So, I assigned myself as an official shoulder to cry on. As other individual are admitted to Dick's nursing home I often find family members crying in the hallway. I have yet to have anyone turn do
  15. RLT

    Fred, You are an inspiration to all of us. Thanks for taking care of our soldiers too. It is a pet peeve of mine that our men give so much to us only to be forgotten. Dick served in the Korean War which they completely skip when teaching history these days. My girls have learned more about what our soldiers did in Korea from their many friends from Korea than they ever did in public schools. Ruth