Graduate caregivers


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At my dementia support group we have three category of caregivers: I am in the first one - those who still have the person they are caring for with them - as I still have Ray who has vascular dementia living at home with me. The second category is - those who have the person they cared for at home now in a facility, that is a dementia hostel like my mum, a nursing home or SNF as you call it, or in some cases a group home as one woman has a daughter with early onset who is at this stage in a house with three others and a carer. I am also in that category as my mum was formerly in my care and now lives in a dementia specific lodge.

 

The last category we call "graduates" - these are people who have cared for a loved one who has died but as a former caregiver has stayed on with the group to continue to give us support and sometimes advice. I find these people invaluable as they often see the "big picture" when I am seeing life under a microscope.

 

On this site we have very few graduates, people who have been caregivers but are now alone. My question is: should we encourage people to stay on after a loved one has passed away to act as consultants and still give us adsvice from the vast range of knowledge they have gained in their caring role?

 

It seem such a pity that people feel they have to leave if they would like to continue to stay on the board and form a cheer squad to continue to help the rest of us as we struggle with present realities.

 

Sue.

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Dear Sue, Donna and Bonnie,

As you all know I am a graduate. I came here as a newbie caregiver last summer after Seth had his stroke. I was looking for answers, Hope and really a virtual hand to hold and someone to listen. I got all of that and more. You let me know I was not really alone. I have made the kind of friends here that I have always wanted. You all have been there for me as a caregiver, and as a human being going through this tough thing we call life. Thank you for your experience and kindness whenI lost my husband and even now as we continue to see one another most everyday. People like you ladies and others here are a display of human kindness and support at it's very best. If possible I would like to stay on and possibly give something back. I honestly love you all!!!!...........Joy

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A person that has been a caregiver and understands all the ups and downs that a survivor goes through is such a valuable vault of information that we should encourage that person to stay with us to help with there wisdom and gained knowledge they have collected over the years. it would be such a help to us survivors and caregivers, like Joy she has been such a help to me. I deeply respect all caregivers past and present they have such a huge load.

 

Allan

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yes i agree with the above comments. we do urge caregivers to stay with us as they are a valuable asset to this community. caregivers are our angels here on earth, they truly are.. we also understand the difficult choice they would have to make to stay with us. sue the group you are involved with sounds like a great one, thankyou for the info about it.

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Dear Ones,

 

I certainly plan at this time to stay right here until I'm kicked out or dried up! Of course that is my plan right now. No doubt depending upon age, finances do play a part in one's ability to stay connected as well as the emotional upheavel of the years spent in caregiving coming to an end. I guess there is more to be revealed!

 

Warmly,

 

Ann

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Hi Sue,

 

Since you and others encouraged me to stay on after my caregiver duties ended I have tried to log in as often as time permits to add my two cents as both a caregiver and as a survivor. Apparently I am unique as both categories apply to me. Hopefully I will still be welcome and others may find useful info in my posts, replies, and chats.

 

 

John

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To all: I am so greatful for the Caregivers for their knowledge and the truth they speak, it helps me as a Brain Stem Stroke Survivor in regard to my Hubby. I know how hard it is for me as a survivor in my day to day life, I know it is equally as difficult for him as well. This isn't the life we had thought of for our retirement "golden" years. I learn from each person who posts here and I think it is valuable information that you all share with us uncontitionally. It would be such a loss if you left. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your experience, strength and hope with us. Love to you always. With deep appreciation.

I don't think any of us actually "graduate" from this journey we call life anyway.

If we do, heck what a heck of a celebration it will be won't it?

Hugs,

Jan

Believe In Miracles and SOAR

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  • 1 month later...

My dear friend Joy on this site has been wonderful to me - I have learned so much from her, and the grace and dignity with which she conducts her life in the face of incredible adversity has been more than an inspiration. There have been times when I emailed her at 3AM in total despair because I could not figure out how I was going to get through the next day, and she has talked me down off the ledge more than once.

 

I do have friends, but someone who's been through all this and can offer you something more than "call me if I can do anything to help" is a treasure. Anyone who has come out the other side and can show by example that it's possible you'll actually have a life again, and normalcy, and time to grieve, and time for yourself - they're the light on the path, and without them I'd be stumbling in the dark.

 

Thank you my dear, sweet friends!

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