Help - Love in the time of Covid

Recommended Posts

This topic does indeed deal with stroke but the survivor and myself did survive through covid together during the early stages of our relationship-I thought it would be a catchy title to this post in which I will disclose I need guidance.


This is my fist time posting. I must preface this with the fact that I am not a stroke survivor, I am merely the ex care giver and ex fiance of a person who did have a stroke. If someone could help, words cannot suffice how appreciative I would be.

My fiance suffered a stroke in August of 2021. I was working and received a phone call she had not showed up for work one day. Having a key to her place, I immediately jumped in my care, drove down to her place (she lived 5 minutes away from me) and opened the door to find her lying on the ground, eyes open yet not responsive. I immediately called the paramedics who came and took her to an ICU. She was at the ICU for exactly a month and later transferred to a long-term care facility where she stayed for 9 months. I went to see her everyday while she was at the ICU and while she was at the long term care facility. I would stay hours. I participated in helping her with physical therapy and walked with her around the facility in order to get her to start walking again everyday. I brought puzzle books to keep her mind sharp. I even wrote her favorite sports team who sent her a get well package.

I had made arrangements for us to move to a place near the beach upon discharge. However, due to issues with the tenant occupying the premises at the time, we briefly had to stay at my parents house. She was happy to be out of the long term care facility. She did not miss the hospital food they had been serving her for 9 months. She seemed happy and very driven to get better. 

About a little over a month after her discharge, she came to me and expressed her intent to return to the state (I'm in the US) where her parents resided. This came from out of the blue. During the course of the time she was out of the long term care facility, we may have had slight arguments, etc. but nothing too egregious. After talking  and acquainting myself with several of her friends during her time in the long term care facility, I was provided the impression going home to where her parents and other family members lived was something that she appeared to avoid. She never spoke about her family much and in order to not drone on about this specific issue, but I'll leave you with this example-she was married before me and upon finalization of her divorce, she did not return home but instead went to the state where I resided on the grounds she had friends that lived in and around the area. 

My question to the community is this-does a stroke have such an effect on someone to which something like this happens? We had been in a relationship for 2.5-alomost 3 years and we were engaged to be married. She was happy to be out of the long term care facility and we talked about future plans, getting married, the whole nine yards. I cannot comprehend why, all of a sudden, she would express her intent to end the relationship and go back to where she lived with her parents at the age of 42. I called something known as the "warmline" at the American Stroke Association who provided me information about stroke survivors and their propensity for impulsiveness and lack of empathy. I am not sure. I have endeavored to reach out to many who have advised I just forget about my fiance, move on, and act as if the whole thing never happened. I was at the ICU and long term care facility everyday for this girl while trying to work and keep my job. I went there on Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, everyday. Even when there were sheets of ice on the road and the weather was awful. I did not let anything hinder me. She is better, she is walking, talking, the aphrasia appears to have dissipated but when she left she told me she "had changed" and that was it. So, I am reaching out to this community to see what insight can be provided and what I can do.  She lives several states away from me. It is with great hope I pray something can be provided.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.