How right you are Jay.    We feel the same way.   Sure, Bob, never counted on being massively handicapped, and I never counted on being caregiver to him in everything he needs.    But, you know what, I'm just so thankful to have him still here with me, and we do live a life of gratitude and thankfulness for each day that is 'gravy' (is that a common saying everyone understands?)    Quite a few of the people who were horrified at what happened to Bob are dead now!    He is the one still here!   We thank God for everyday we still have!

I get the gravy comment

I'm not sure if it's used anymore

Bob is blessed to have you as am I to have my family

Much like you attempting to understand what God is going through I'm sure Bob's attempting understand what you're going through

There are many days that are Gravy

Yet once in a while the mashed taters are pretty lumpy

I don't have as many lumpy days as I did last year

But I do believe it all comes down to attitude

Survivors like Bob and I are fortunate to have good caregivers to share the journey with

Peace

Jay