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Not a pretty post-venting


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One of the reasons I liked the whole blog idea right from the first was the ability to vent, to be politically incorrect or just be in a bad mood and no one can say a word or puke all over my blog. It isn't a post on the board where I must balence a fine line between being Marry Poppins and understanding. But I find lately that those survivors that have suffered mild strokes, just can't deal. Maybe I'm at a stage where I have burn out over the whole stroke business. I know I am on one side of the canyon and all the mild stroke sufferers are on the other side. Yes we all are part of the same group, we all have paid dues of some sort to be in this exclusive club, we are all united as brothers and sisters. I just am fed up with the whining. Yes, the whining is based in fear, I know that. But I am becoming increasingly aware of the drama factor too. Many have this need to be fawned over and paid attention too because they had a mild stroke. Well so what?? Maybe I am cruel to be making comparisons in my head. But I know what I have overcome, without any emotional support from my spouse or family. I had no choice but square my shoulders, take a deep breath and keep moving on. Yeah I know much of attitude has to do with what kind of person someone is pre stroke.

I guess what has me ranting now, is the large numbers of survivors who aren't trying to focus on what they have, but rather they are all wrapped up in what they have lost. I feel as if I'm beating my head against a brick wall trying to make them face the right direction.

 

I think there was a reason why I never got involved or believed in support groups pre stroke. I've always been a firm believer in relying on myself, never counting on others to be there for me. I know this is a vent that is against what we do here. I think this site does good work and is worthy of much of my time each week, but I can get upset over attitudes that prevail. The poor me's, the poor survivors who can't play a game of their favorite sport, the poor survivors who are experiencing some short term memory loss. Yes, all awful things to realize and get used to for sure.But if these same survivors can work, drive, use both hands and walk, then haven't they missed the point? They aren't counting on what they have, they are focusing on what they lost. This is what has driven me up the wall. This is what I'm venting about. Yes, I'm a survivor and I'm supposed to be understanding. I do understand the losses, the deficits. I've been there, and done that but with a better attitude then some display. Yes, I had my grieving process too, we all do.I think I'm done now

Pam

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Pam

 

I understand where you're coming from. I see my husband sitting in a wheelchair and without that part of his life he valued the most---his speech---and I can't help but wonder why some of the survivors who've had the light, wake-up call kind of strokes don't see how truly lucky they are. I think of our CEO typing with a pointer attached to his forehead and what he said in his moderated chat about only 25% of survivors are making the most of their potential and I'd like to start knocking some heads together. I know it's part of the acceptance process for survivors to feel sorry for themselves, but a few have prefected that into an art form.

 

Jean

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it's hard not to feel that way when you know you've been through worse. I can't even imagine your frustration, but I have an idea where you're coming from. Just to hear others talk about difficulty eating certain foods when my husband can't swallow after 9 months, is frustrating to me. I haven't found another stroke survivor yet who has been on the feeding tube for 9 months with the possibility that it's going to be long-term, maybe even permanent. In spite of that, I don't let him sit on the pity pot and cry about it - I tell him he has to get used to it and go on, otherwise it will kill us both.

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Good job Pam! I second your emotions and raise a glass to your guts. We all need to get off the pity pot and start looking out, instead of thinking "it's all about me". If we all did that, think how much happier the world would be.

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I agree ;;; the sooner we stop using the excuse I had a stroke and carry on with life as normal as possible the easier it will be to deal with each situation as it comes along.. like loose it and except each day as if it was just another day....

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