This morning I woke up, got out of bed, dressed and had breakfast. It wasn't until I got to put the toast in that I realized how rare this is. I did it all in my own timing. When Ray is here I wake up early, do some preparation and come onto Strokenet. That is because I can actually see him from where I sit as there is a connecting door which I keep open a crack. That way I can go in and help Ray up and out of bed if he needs it. So as soon as I wake up I am thinking about Ray. That is my focus for each waking hour.

It is over three weeks now since he had the fall and went to hospital. The first two weeks I was so busy worrying and waiting on this test and that test to see what the doctors were going to do that I hardly had time or a thought to myself. I just kept running. The work at home, the visits to Mum etc were all squeezed in around the running in and out to the hospital.

Those of you that have been on the medical merry-go-round a long time will know that lot of a caregivers time is taken up by thinking ahead. I usually get up reciting: "Today is Monday. Monday is Daycare. Daycare means Ray has to have clean clothes." I then go to the wardrobe and sort out a clean outfit. I put the belt in the trousers, put the clothes down in the order in which Ray puts them on and then wake him up. Get him up, get him breakfast. Remind him to have a shave. Help comb his hair. Get him on the verandah. Listen out for his transport as I do other things.

Tuesdays is a easy morning so I don't wake him up as early, I do some chores and then wake him. In the afternoon we go to craft. Ray enjoys the afternoon tea but I think he also enjoys the happy chat in the background. He reads a book, or pretends to and lets it wash all around him. The old ladies love him, you can tell by how often they pass the cake plate to him!!

Wednesdays is our day at home. This is because when we are in summer I am on the computer chatting to some of you from mid-day on. So I check everything out in the morning in case someone has a new crisis I need to know about, then spend 12noon - about 2pm in the Caregiver chat room. My time there depends on who is in and how late some people get in. It is a good time for me, I do enjoy the chats, particularly when that party mood surfaces and we all get a little silly. I like to think of people leaving feeling happier because they came in.

Thursday is shopping day so we get up early, Ray gets a change of clothes then too as I think he looks better if he is clean and shiny. He doesn't always want to shave but I like him to when we go out. I guess most of us want to look our best, he doesn't care about his appearance, but I do. I want him to look at his best. Ray, because he doesn't get out in the sun much and tan up like he used to do, can look pale, and a lot older than his years too. So clean shaven and shiny is my preferred look for him.

Friday is Scallywags, pick up time just before lunch, so he gets to sit on the verandah in the morning. I get to do my own thing in the afternoon until he is back at 2.30pm. It is only three hours but I can shop for the pleasure of it , or visit a friend, have some coffee at a cafe, do some of the things middle aged women do. It is good to have the feeling of being free to do what you want.

The weekend varies, some involvement with the kids or grandkids, sometimes a drive, church on Sundays.

It is a simple life but I mostly like it. Then there is Lions Club dinners twice a month and then another couple of associations we belong to have meetings too so there are other outside activities that we have that broaden our approach to the world. And the friends who phone and the family dropping by make the bright spots in the week. Especially those little grandchildren, they are such a bonus.

I am writing this now but in the back of my mind a little voice tells me that all this is in the past. Will Ray be able to come back home and resume life as it was when he left, or will he have extra disabilities and not be able to function at Daycare and Scallywags on his own or manage the dinners out? These are questions that only time will address. In the meantime I will enjoy just getting up of a morning.