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Disabled Heart....


jriva

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It's easy for me to forget that my husband is disabled. Despite the wheelchair and his language disorders, in many ways Don is the same man I've known since 1970----good-natured, compassionate, kind, smart, and out-going. It's the out-going part that gets him in trouble once in a great while. Click here to read the rest of what happened today.

 

Jean

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Oh Jean - I feel so bad for you and Don to experience that reaction from that woman. No matter what occurred to her previously, her actions ere unjustified. What a biotch!

 

It is sad to that we survivors are automatically treated like we are a mentally challenged just because we walk differently. I'm glad to hear Don has "fans" at your regular haunts.

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jean, that was clearly rude on the woman's part. i think on your next visit together, i would go up and speak to her and explain what don was trying to do and that you found her very offensive it is therapy for him to be able to talk with strangers, he was trying to be friendly, he doesn't have the plague. my gosh you are in a class together, people should be able to talk to one another. i agree with donna, she was a biotch. maybe she didn't heard or see him clearly enough to know he wanted to talk to her. i bet don's feelings were hurt and i don't blame him. i can understand children being alittle frightened of someone in a wheelchair, because they don't understand but not grown people. just my thoughts anyway. don is a good person just wanting to reach out to others.

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Jean,

 

We have experienced more than our share of rude people and their reactions to my disabled husband. It's their loss if they don't take the time to know and understand his situation. I pray that none of them have to experience the kind of pain and suffering our husband's have had to experience. I, too, get upset and sometimes I wait until we get home and he's in the other room before I break down and cry, then I pick myself back up and realize that "there but for the Grace of God could they be." They're not worth my tears!!

 

Sarah

 

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Thanks for the comments, everyone.

 

Sarah,

 

The part that got me the most is that Don IS kind of a serial hugger and I have to help him read body language and queue him when it's not appropriate to hug. But this time he was so totally NOT doing anything to deserve this woman's reaction. I shutter to think what she would have done if he actually had wanted to hug her. We probably would have been facing a police report.

 

Jean

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Jean, what you may be dealing with here is some kind of inappropriate overreaction. I guess we'll never know why some people behave as they do. But we can act with more wisdom ourselves so don't pay this woman too much attention. To us of course our survivor is a "new normal" but to others they may appear severely disabled, we have to remember that. Unfortunately there is never a perfect balance in the way people react, is there?

 

Go on encouraging Don to just be himself minus maybe some of those hug-a-stranger- tendencies. Heaven knows we caregivers particularly need all the hugs we can get! I've got some Downs Syndrome friends I can always guarantee will hug me when I need it. We all have a mental block about some degree of disability in others. I always find the "shouters" hard to take myself but try not to over-react. I think I need to practice calmness....ommmm.

 

(((Hugs))) from Sue.

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Jean,

 

Obviously not everyone knows what a sweet man your husband is, Some people just don't like to be talked to. They have their own demons. I feel sure too, this woman had another issue that caused her to react this way.

 

You're right what tooks seconds warranted a blog, but thank you for sharing, Stroke definatly makes you aware how anyone different from the norm must feel in this sometimes cruel world.

 

It is nice to know that not all folks are so narrow minded and cold. The two waitresses are evidence of that.

 

I spent over 5 years focusing on those other narrow minded people and finally learned it is those that treat me right that deserve my focus, time and thoughts.

 

Best wishes to you both. Tell Don I said Hi from KY

 

Ann

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