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Stroke Survivor - male
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About will2

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  1. will2

    Now this is a cool work around idea I saw on TV the other day. Just perfect for getting up off my Sister's couch. I'm thinking about purchasing one and stashing it over at her house for visiting occasions.
  2. It's never happened before so I'm not absolutely confident saying yes to a hallucination, or for that matter any kind of paranoid type delusion. Never having experienced much paranoia in my life, with the exception of my aneurysm rupture and the thought of dying, I can honestly say with confidence no paranoia. And certainly not a normal occurrence. I sleep in a chair as since stroke I could never get much comfort sleeping with the left side numbness and spacticity, so I started sleeping in the recliner type chair. I may have unconsciously dozed off or "cat napped" and dreamed it happened? Thus putting it into my iPhone notes to see if it ever repeats. Yea, the mind is certainly complex!
  3. I joined this forum in Nov 2008 but just read until just recently and started posting. My stroke occurred during brain surgery in Nov 2007. It's taken many years to finally put in my first post here but it's good to be out of the shadows and into the light. Many good folks here and it's easy to listen to their stories, lives, and different situations. They get it. Welcome opasman into the light!
  4. Patti, I only wished that I had some kind of role model (if you will) available during my initial recovery days. My usual crowd other than my rehab therapists, really knew very little about strokes. I had so many questions and worried a lot about my recovery time. I just needed to get back to my job to really feel a sense of security and well being. Having somebody that's experienced stroke would have been so helpful. Not many folks actually know what it's really like to live behind the stroke mask, a simple explanation doesn't always make it. James is so blessed to have you as a Mom, and your role will be instrumental in his recovery. Sadly, I can relate to your experiences. I too once had very nice handwriting for a man, I developed my own flair of lettering style. Early in my past life I was an art major and a partner in a Commercial Advertising business...once upon a time. These days like you, I barely recognize my own handwriting or signature. I suppose if I were to put hours into practice I could regain some of that quality but, it's just not much as a priority as it once was. My mind is jumping around but wanted to relate something that happened to me a few weeks ago. Reading about the pencil eraser story reminded me of this incident. Many times at night my cat wants to go out to my back yard and lay around on the pool deck or explore the back yard perimeter. I have a 6' wood fence that encloses my back yard and he's quite content to remain within. Anyway, to communicate to me he's ready to browse, he'll walk under my legs that are usually propped up on my foot rest and he brushes me with his upright tail and heads to the back door. I usually follow his command. This time, he walked in and brushed me as he always does and heads out the bedroom to the back door. I stand up as usual, and follow. By the time I had rounded the kitchen, he had completely vanished! I was amused but he's a clever little rascal at times, and I turned back to go to my room and to my astonishment, he was curled up and completely asleep in his chair..I was so unbelievably surprised by this, it was so lucid and real, from the point of contact with his tail, to following him out thru the kitchen to the back door as I've done a million times before. Only this time it never occurred! It was so unreal that I immediately wrote in my iPhone Notes, the date, and time this happened. I'm curious if it will repeat at some point, if it's something new, has this happened to other stroker's? I guess the story relating to your pencil triggered the memory, or related somehow in a different way? Strange as it is. Relating this story here among stroke survivors doesn't make me feel so loonie as understood
  5. Willis, this still is one of my weaknesses. I still find myself closing my eyes when watching a program on TV and they are filming a fast chase scene with a lot of action. It is similar to a roller coaster type feeling. Pre-stroke I used to live for those type rides in the amusement parks like Disneyworld or Universal Studios extreme roller coaster rides. Not so much these days. I did however take a trip to Disneyworld here in Florida a few years post surgery/stroke. It didn't even dawn on me until the ride started really whipping around that I had a sick feeling in my stomach thinking about the repaired area in my brain and if the G-forces could possibly cause unnecessary blood flow pressures in that repaired area. A little too late to think about it after the ride started. Brilliant!! Even a fast pace conversation with several people at once has me kinda find myself pulling away. Overstimulation. I'm finding a few things currently that catch me by surprise at how much different my brain reacts, cognitively and both emotionally, these type changes have dramatically changed. It's difficult to change the way the brain is reacting in those situations. Maybe some type of desensitizing programs and/or training if you really push those type of boundaries. Maybe it could help those strokers who still have the capacity to work. And demanding jobs that have those type environments and you still wish to stay in the pack. I cannot however, thats just me. But many can, and my hats off to those who do. And finally, thank you for the kind compliments on my writing skills. There are those here that are so more eloquent and descriptive naturally, I hardly come close to those who do. My thinking and writing post stroke is difficult and unbalanced, I was explaining in an email to a StrokeNet close friend the other day, it's almost like I regurgitate the information from my thoughts, it's a very raw and uneducated feeling. I only wish that I could write as well as some here like Jayallen who writes books and have the skills to do so, or Patti. I just spill thoughts onto my keyboard, and hope that it doesn't get deleted out of my frustration to convey and make sense of what I'm thinking at the time. I do however really appreciate the kind words, it's encouraging to know that others make sense of what meaning I'm trying to get across. A heartfelt thanks..
  6. Good morning Patti, and thank you for your kind words. Sometimes I'm afraid my stroke exaggerated flare for the dramatics get's the better of me and spill's over into my word delivery. I described it in the thread about pseudo bulbar syndrome that my thinking is sometimes likened to an out of control train running on the rails and I've not a lot of control of what comes out. I tend to ramble too much and delete a lot of the content that never see's the light of day because I loose my train (pardon the pun) of thought along the way a lot, and it isn't as cohesive as it sounded in my mind. Certainly a change from my life pre-stoke. I was usually very quiet and reserved, think before saying type. If I had nothing constructive to say you'd never hear a peep out of me. Since surgery, and btw, it was endovascular coiling surgery not endoscopic..thats the rambling coming out, since, my thoughts and short term memory are skewed a bit. I am at this point departing from the current thinking that James is "predicted" that he will not walk or talk. As a man of faith I've been first hand witness to miraculous things that have occurred in my live and others that defy conventional thinking. I had a series of miracles in my life over a several month period that if it didn't happen to me personally, I'd have a real tough time believing they happened without question. Let it play out in it's own time, I'll certainly be standing in the door of intersession for James, I believe and will stand strong. I wish you, James, and family well.
  7. I can add my similar experience with this "locked-in" state. The morning my aneurysm ruptured, I awoke with an extremely bad headache. The previous day I spent over 9hrs of tests at the hospital. The final test they wanted a spinal tap and it was already after midnight, so I pleaded with them to just let me go home and I'd return if my headache resumed the next day. Finally they released me with a prescription of vicodin for the headache pain and my wife and I went home. The next morning the headache resumed and I got up and took a pill and called in to work sick. When I laid my head back down I guess as the blood rushed to my head the aneurysm ruptured. I never got my legs completely onto the bed and was stuck in that position with my body half way on the bed. The way I described it to the Neurologist was it was as if I was locked inside a large vault with the door closed. Everything went dark and silent, I could not move a muscle. I felt nothing and was stuck half on and off the bed. I had a suspicion that an aneurysm erupted and got out enough words to have my wife immediately call 911, I knew that without treatment I wouldn't make it. What an awful feeling, and one that I thought I would never experience. I had always felt that given a life or death situation, be it an accident, or imminent death experience that I would handle it a bit more different being faced with it. More macho or manly and calm I guess...I was completely mistaken and for the first time in my life I faced a child-like fear that I was going to die and terrified. It's testimony to fact that how you think you may react in a given situation may not be how you do when faced with it in reality. Anyway, to make the story short I was finally transported and by the time they got me off the gurney and sitting upright in a chair I felt a very sharp stabbing pain up the back of my neck and lights out. The next thing I barely remember was it was nighttime and I was being loaded on a helicopter for transfer to another ER for endoscopic brain surgery. This ER stabilized me drilled and installed a drain in my scull and intubated me for transport. From the link description of a "locked-in" experience, my description of being locked up in a vault with no feeling, silence and paralysis are almost identical in experience. What a frightening experience, terrifying actually. Never in my life anything like that ever happening and it's imo the closest thing of an out of body like experience you could have without actually passing over. I'm sorry Patti that I cannot ever give you anything in my experience that relates to a coma, or coma complications. I can just add that like so many here with many similar stories and experiences, it took a lot of time, patience, and hard work over the next year to relearn to walk, eat, dress and develop work arounds to get some semblance of normal functioning back. Even post stroke/surgery at 13yrs now and being almost 68yrs old, it's ups and downs and challenges, constantly. My strongest attribute these days is my faith, and my belief that there's reasonable time enough on the clock for more improvement. I'll not give in, or give up. I feel that a strong supporting cast is paramount in rehabilitation, be it family, friends, faith and courage. My biggest supporter is my cat whose companionship is unconditional and always keeps me going caring for him. It's the simplest things you could imagine that may be taken for granted that mean so much these days. I'll remain in faith for James, for you and family. Even those small tiniest improvements are monumental in early stages of recovery of his condition, and slow as they come, things will get better in time. I wish you the best in the New Year.
  8. will2

    Wow, that is expensive. Here in Florida though were still evolving in the available offerings, at least the annual card fee is only $75.
  9. Patti, just to touch base in this New Year, you, James and family are always in my prayers.
  10. will2

    Hello Patty, and Happy New Year. I would add that basically most of my left side to include from the top half of my head to my waist is numb, at my waist since post stroke I started wearing a sock on my right foot to sleep at night, especially on the colder winter nights as it started having a burning sensation...as best I can describe it. The soft cotton sock seems to help a good deal. My original thoughts were that during my brain surgery they made an incision in my right upper thigh area where they inserted the catheter to push it up into the brain for the insertion of many small strips of platinum to coil embolise the aneurysm that had ruptured. Before my surgery I never had any circulation or otherwise problems with any of my extremities. I always felt it a bit unusual that my left side of my body was affected with the weakness and numbness but at my waist it crossed over to my right foot and ankle region. Maybe the point of insertion of the catheter and the path it traveled may have caused a change of circulation? It's all guesswork on my part though, nothing really substantially important to address in light of the more pressing issues at the time. Each one of us have very unique areas of our brains that were effected and what areas died off from hemorrhaged blood. What systems were affected and how much were recovered. Miles of differences in each of us, yet we share many of the same too. Thats what makes StrokeNet so great, is sharing those stories. It never really bothered me enough to ask the neurologist why this happened. So many new unusual sensations in the extremities and brain since surgery and stroke, it's all just a part of the changes and adjustments the body goes thru post stroke. Neuroplasticity and all that reorganizations in all those synaptic connections that happen over time during the healing and recovery stage. Even at almost 13yrs post stroke I still encounter new changes with my stroke affected areas.
  11. will2


    This drives me crazy Alan, they legalize it but have no dispensaries to sell it!! Like Florida, it took them several years to hammer out some of the details, and a new Governor to get newer products to the dispensaries. For those who find it to work for managing pain instead of using more harmful and addicting opiates it's frustrating. And those groups that have been opposed to the legal medical marijuana legislation from the beginning still have the political base to influence restrictions on it just slow the implementation of it to a crawl. Things like packaging, specific offerings cannot be visible in containers and have to be opaque so you cannot see the product. All this kind of nonsense just slows things down but will not prevent the inevitable because of the overwhelming support from the voters to legalize it medically. I could really give a rats butt about recreational use, I don't care about the "high" but only the THC infused products help me manage the neurological pain when it gets brutal. I posted a comment in one of the local news articles during the vote to legalize medical marijuana, this congress woman was going on about addiction, and gate-way drug, and the children..for Gods sake lady, walk a day in my shoes! I'm 67yrs old and I couldn't care less about gateway drugs that supposedly marijuana is being touted as. I've already been hooked on the opioids I was relegated to use 24hrs a day for 3yrs. You go thru the withdrawals, experience that and tell me about the evils of "reefer madness" And this article from Georgia... Georgia Marijuana Policy Project Georgia enacts bill allowing in-state access to low-THC oil! Last update: April 18, 2019 On April 17, 2019, Gov. Brian Kemp (R) signed the Georgia’s Hope Act — HB 324 — into law. At long last, patients will be able to safely access low-THC medical cannabis oil within Georgia. The Senate approved the final language of the Georgia’s Hope Act in a 34-20 vote, while the House vote was 147-16. In 2015, the Georgia General Assembly passed a bill allowing patients to register to possess up to 20 fluid ounces of medical cannabis oil with up to 5% THC. The legislature later expanded the law to include more medical conditions, and more than 8,000 patients are signed up. However, the law didn’t include any access to cannabis oil. Under the Georgia’s Hope Act, six producers will be allowed to cultivate medical cannabis preparations in Georgia, along with two universities. Pharmacies will be allowed to sell the medical cannabis preparations, and regulators could authorize private dispensaries. (Due to medical cannabis’ federal illegality, it is far from certain that universities or pharmacies would participate.) It is expected to take at least a year before legal sales begin. For more details, check out our summary. MPP is grateful to Jacob Eassa, lobbyist with CompassionateGA, who worked hard to get the bill past the finish line and ensure the bill remained workable. We would also like to thank MPP grantee Nora Bushfield of CompassionateGA for their organizing efforts and all the patients and loved ones who spoke out for so many years. And of course, this was only possible due to the leadership of bill sponsor Rep. Micah Gravley (R), former Rep. Allen Peake (R) who championed medical cannabis legislation for years, and all the lawmakers who supported the legislation. While this is a huge victory, work remains to be done in future legislative sessions to improve the law. It still does not meet MPP’s definition of an effective medical cannabis law. Make sure you’re signed up for our email updates so you don’t miss out on opportunities to speak out for compassionate cannabis policy. But yet, you cannot purchase it because there are no dispensaries! Things like this make me crazy. I'm confident that your state will eventually evolve with the implementation, but in the meantime you have to do stuff like purchase out of state. I'm through with my soapbox now so I'll step off. But I feel your frustration Alan, I've been there before..still am as even Florida hasn't yet completely fulfilled it's commitment to the voters who said overwhelmingly "YES"
  12. will2


    So Alan, I'm kinda dazzled a bit about your state of Georgia medical marijuana laws. In reading I can see that you can (jump thru hoops)qualify for a medical marijuana card in Georgia however, there aren't any dispensaries in GA?? If that's the case imo it's kinda silly allowing a qualified card member but not being able to purchase unless you have it shipped? I know that there are additional laws prohibiting products crossing state lines with any % of THC, and from what I did read if in fact it's accurate, with a qualified medical marijuana card you're allowed low dose THC % product. If I'm reading this correctly it's extremely confusing. I understand your inquiring about CBD products but many effective hybrid CBD products have extremely low percentages of THC sometimes that are very effective. In my state of Florida we are allowed state legalized medical marijuana since 2016 and the rules are still evolving concerning the use and methods of certain products. In late 2018 for example they granted the use finally of the smokable flower. In 2019 certain dispensaries have worked out deals with edibles (choc brownies, cookies, candy, etc) with a Colorado based manufacturer and were still awaiting Florida's Health Dept to make decisions on how it is to be sold in dispensaries. I'm guessing that it will be finalized and available in our local dispensaries this New Year. So, though my state overwhelmingly voted and passed it in 2016, to date, they're still hammering out details. I'm looking forward to the edibles myself as I'd prefer that to smoking the flower...which btw is highly effective in managing neurologic pain. A huge advantage over the use of prescription opioids, and does not come with the heavy addiction nor withdrawals. My hope for you is that Georgia's medical marijuana laws may eventually evolve as many more states get on board. Very few of them actually haven't at this time according to the maps. It's truly a godsend product and an excellent substitute to prescription pain medicines that have the unpleasant side effects. I've been down that road before and though the morphine and other opioids were effective pain management drugs, I had to stop because of the bad side effects in my case. Additionally, though it's still illegal under Federal law as a schedule I drug, hopefully that too will change one day. Kinda silly cocaine and heroine are schedule II and on this scale the marijuana is deemed more harmful?
  13. will2

    Happy New Year to all! I have a feeling it's going to be a special year and glad to be around for it!
  14. will2

    I'm not much of a medication taker. I usually try an avoid it "if" I can just because over the years having one kidney I had concerns, especially certain ones that have side effects that even slightly disagree with me. When I had this minor heart attack, the cardiologist in the hospital said I needed to take a low dose 81mg aspirin and metoprolol for at least two years. I naturally preferred not to and did have a small reaction to the metoprolol so I had that dosage reduced. The doc said the aspirin would have some blood thinning properties and there would be some bruising. That was an understatement, it seems that if I brush against something or hit my hand against something, instant bruise! I'll be glad when the two years is up in the Sept of this New Year. Though they had to clean out a blocked valve and a stent, I do feel a bit better, but ever since I was relegated to pain management and opioids for a few years awhile back, those side effects were the worst and since, I have even a more sensitive aversion to taking any medications unless really necessary.
  15. will2

    Call it something like a "Stroker's Guide to Workarounds" ....if anything, it would make a great comedy piece!