That describes me! My husband had a hemmoragic stroke 2/16/2018. That stroke took everything from me. On that day I lost my marriage, my husband and my life as I knew it! Nothing will ever be the same. My husband was 62 and I was 52 when it happened. At first I was a real trooper! Determined to help in whatever way was needed. I felt lucky because my husband didn’t seem to lose very much from the stroke. It seemed as if it were all physical. He still had his quick wit, he only had a slight slur which eventually cleared all together.
After 3 weeks in the hospital we spent the next 6 weeks in a rehab facility. He was doing really well. Progressing very nicely. It was very encouraging. The day before he was to be discharged he didn’t seem quite right. I brought it to the attention of the nurses and docs. They took him for mri’s and CT scans. They came back saying they didn’t show any changes. They tried telling me it was because of the meds that he had been on for about 8 weeks that were discontinued earlier that week (Lyrica). I believe he had a TIA stroke. The kept him in the rehab only one extra day and then released him.
When he had the stroke we were in Florida. I on vacation and he on a business trip. I had driven to Florida. He told me to stay there since he was going to be there for work and we’d drive back together. We reside in Texas. The trip was a long one to say the least. Since the TIA stroke he spoke very little. He wouldn’t initiate any conversation and when he was asked a question his reply’s were as brief as possible.
Since we’ve been home over a year now it has been very difficult. Now I find myself being very angry! My husband has a very short fuse! He’s rude, impatient and very insensitive. He sleeps all day everyday. He never wants to do anything. On the rare times I can get him to do anything he is complaining of pain within an hour. There is absolutely no intimacy between us. My role has been reduced to caregiver only.
I suppose I am just a very selfish person. I’m not ready to give up physical activities or sex. I can’t imagine never being intimate again, to never be touched or kissed or held in that special way. I’m too young to lose that. But what am I to do? I miss my husband. I wish I could get him back. I know that there is no way I can turn what is left of my husband back into the man I married. It’s just not fair!
I’m also very angry at the fact that my husband has 3 adult children and not one of them has even made an effort to see their dad since he had his stroke. They are all very selfish. I guarantee they’ll be there when he passes away trying to make claim on anything he had!
My husbands best friend lives across the street from us. However, even that relationship has gone by the way side. It’s so sad to see that happen.
People just don’t know how to act around or treat my husband. He can be very difficult and sometimes even embarrassing too.
I tried finding a support group to go to. The one here was geared more towards the stroke survivor, not the caregiver.
I hate strokes. I hate what it has done to my husband, to me and to our relationship. It’s very depressing.
Thank you for letting me vent. Like I said, I suppose I am just being selfish and petty. Maybe I’m just acting like a spoiled brat. If I am, so be it. I apologize.