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Stroke Caregiver - female
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About cumminsfemme

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  • Birthday 08/03/1984
  • Age 36

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  1. cumminsfemme

    Thank you, everyone, for your advice and encouragement.
  2. Hi, Thea, My story is quite like yours, except about my bestie. We both have no family and found each other when I was at my worst. He basically rescued me from the bad world I circulated in, and I think of him as my hero. Fast forward 10+ years and stroke enter stage left. This was about six months ago. The medical attention was abominable; like just putting him to bed for two days would have had the same overall outcome, but just much smaller bill associated. I am not trying to be controversial to anyone, nor contentious regarding any advice previously given...and I will not give you any advice. However, I will say, I have found immense catharsis in preparing complaints to the state medical board about the providers' failures to adhere to standard of care. You may find the same.? It really relieves the anger and frustration I feel to have another person who may be able to do something about the injustice I witnessed and experienced really "hear" me. I have spoken to others who have clear medical malpractice cases say they have experienced a similar catharsis through the process. I am not sure I would recommend anyone embark on a medical malpractice case regarding a stroke, but you might find some closure at least in speaking to an attorney. Many do free consultations for contingency cases in personal injury/medical malpractice. What I've found is that I've been thrust into a world that I don't have an educated overview of and I have not been trained to deal with. I have since read every single thing I can find on post-stroke care and underlying issues that incline one to future strokes. I was with my best friend from start to finish as he was transferred from hospital to hospital in his crisis. I saw everything. He was left wondering a lot of things, but with mostly no memory. I am left with it all in my heart and absolutely no closure. I really feel for you...and I wish the best for you.
  3. I am working with my best friend in the world to heal after his stroke. I am his primary caregiver as he has no family. I do all the shopping, cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc., and just generally try to make sure he stays in good spirits. We've both gone on the Mediterranean diet in the last four weeks for convenience, and to follow common post-stroke care. We've also added circuit training, weight training and HIIT. Now we're both down in weight quite significantly, myself more than he is, as I had more extra weight to lose than he did. The main thing that he has lost is rational control over emotions, word-finding/correct word choice for the subjects we're speaking on, clarity of speech and vocal volume/quality. As he works in a professional industry, these effects are causing his work quality, confidence and advancement opportunity to suffer. Since he was in the ER within 30 minutes of the start of the stroke symptoms, I believe he shouldn't have to suffer this, if they had only got him transferred in a timely fashion to a stroke facility. Had he been transferred, I am reasonably sure that he would have received a perfusion study and thrombectomy. I know this may seem small potatoes to those who have lost so much more, and for that I am sorry if my account offends or hurts anyone. It has simply been hard to wrap my head around what happened, and with all the information, understand why my bestie was not even checked out to determine whether he was a candidate for thrombectomy. We did everything right about responsiveness to his crisis and now I am grieving his loss. When we had our first adult conversation that made sense about two weeks after the crisis, I literally cried. I broke down because the stress which had been on me, not knowing whether he'd ever come back was so heavy, and it all lifted at once. I had hope after that...hope. I know he's been down emotionally over all the abnormality; what he's gone through and still going through has been and is no picnic. We're just trying to pick up all the pieces now and put them back in place.
  4. Welcome to StrokeNet. Please feel free to browse around and then introduce yourself by posting in the the Newbie Stroke Survivor or Stroke Caregiver Introduction forum.  After that, post your question in the applicable forum and others will reply.  You will quickly get to know the others. If you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask.

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