I think many of us can relate to your feelings. It has been over 3 years for me-I am now 49 and have come a long ways. I had a brain abnormality (AVM)-had major bleed and ultimately had it surgically removed resulting in a massive stroke. I can walk with a brace-have no use of left hand or arm and suffer from central pain. My walk is not pretty but I get around. It has been slow going-thats an understatement. It takes a long time to accept your disability. I have come to that acceptance but it has really been in the last year. The first year you think you will fully recover-when that is no longer a possibility-reality begins to set in. Of coarse many stroke survivors fully recover but thats not a possibility for some of us-the damage was too great. Take pride in any new accomplishment-I still do. I have faith that God has his or her reasons that I will never understand. It comes down to having faith-I have been angry at God too but he forgives me. Give yourself time to moarn your loss. Hugs, Abby
