hera

:Clap-Hands: That is wonderful news! I haven't been here in awhile - last year, I had a colostomy, and earlier this year, my husband had heart bypass surgery. We live in northwest Houston, though. I am very happy to hear of this visit you were able to make here, Fred! I hope that William - Bill - does get to the computer a little bit more. Blessings to all, Sheri/Hera

Being alone is excruciatingly lonely. My husband is in teaching, so he leaves at 6:15 am, gets home about 3:30 or 4 pm - I am alone all day. He sets up my breakfast so I can put it together and microwave it; he fixes my lunch, leaves it on the counter or in the refrigerator and opens my bottled water - before he leaves. He puts on my slipper socks, and if I get up (which I usually do), he helps me get into my selected nightgown (one of the pluses of not having to leave the house!) Pre-stroke - like some of you - I worked with people. I was very outgoing, smiled all the time, loved to talk, was very creative and optimistic. My multi-tasking and organizational skills were finely honed. For many years, my profession was in sales and account management. I'm a writer by trade and talent, so most of my career was in advertising before I transitioned to education. I love children. My early work was in preschool teaching; when I had the hemorrhagic stroke, I was an elementary school teaching assistant, going to college full time to get my teaching degree. The bleed cut off oxygen to my brain in the right prefrontal and parietal lobe, areas that not only control left side movement, but also affect emotions, communication (not speech), cognitive skills, and creativity. For me, this meant more than not being able to type at the speed I used to - I no longer could COMPOSE the same way, creatively. My brain didn't "think" the same. I couldn't write with my eyes closed, the way I could before... I felt devastated. My friends - friends? All those people I knew and loved, worked with over the years, knew from the college or my current job - some sent cards to the hospital, a few to my house. A couple "friends" came to visit those first weeks at home. Then it all stopped... it HAD to be the wheelchair. I saw how all those strangers looked at me - oh, wait, that would be "not looking" - in the wheelchair. Stroke Girl with the left side kind of flopped over. They always talked to my "escort" - ya'll know who I mean. My husband, or my daughter, or my sister... whoever happens to be pushing the poor woman who must be invisible in that wheelchair! Driving was one of my biggest pleasures. My father was a truck driver, and we had spent a lot of time on car trips as children. I felt so free on the road, and drove many times from Texas to Kansas, and back. I drove all the time, listening to music or singing in the car. I loved my car - a 2001 Ford Focus, manual transmission. I always drove a clutch... lol. Then - bam! Brain bleed took my keys. I feel trapped many days. Literally imprisoned in the four walls of my suburban house that we've lived in for over 33 years now. Until the last six months, I hadn't even been able, brave enough, or felt safe enough, to even attempt to cross the threshold of my front door during the day when I'm home alone - and I'm referring to my power wheelchair! Finally, last October, I took my service dog, Greta, out in the front yard. Eventually, we even ventured down the street a couple houses and back before returning to the house. Two days ago, I got really brave - I took her outside in my manual wheelchair, down the ramp to the sidewalk, brushed her, and came back in by dragging myself back up by the bannister! In the last year, I was blessed to get a freelance writing job once a month. I don't have much human contact, but it has helped my self-esteem. Especially when I get that extra money! So, loneliness makes me sad. I've adjusted to being alone - and with Greta here, I'm never REALLY alone. Blessings, hera My Assistance Dog - me and Greta!

I live in Houston - since it is a huge metro area, specifically, we reside in northwest Houston. We are not too far from Jersey Village, Tomball, Kingwood, Humble and other neighboring northwest communities. Blessings, Hera

I have to add my thoughts to this discussion. Let me say a bit about myself first. I am a writer and after the stroke, not only was it very distressing to lose the ability to type 80wpm, or type with my eyes shut, but I suddenly had trouble with my vision (left-field cut/left neglect) and could not understand why I had cognitive problems. My written grammar was still perfect, but I had to use the thesaurus a lot more. I could not organize my thoughts, focus on a project, concentrate long enough to write. I was taking college classes. I actually came right out of the hospital, and stayed in an online Technical Communications class, which was writing-intensive. I struggled with it. I earned an A, but it was the hardest A that I EVER earned. Before the stroke, I wrote poetry, erotic stories, compositions, fiction, essays, articles and advertising. Writing has been my life, my passion, my profession. Earlier this year, I had a freelance writing project. It was broadcast advertising copy for an adoption agency, involving conceptual work and dialogue. I would have been able to do this so easily before - but it took me over two months to complete the first draft for four 30 second spots. I was so distressed! I have been able to write a few poems, a couple stories, and I am a volunteer editor on one author site. I just keep pushing, working my brain. I have found out that my stroke occurred in the right frontal parietal lobe, which affects emotions and creativity, organizational thought and cognitive thought. NOW it makes sense to me why I have struggled. I do get side-tracked, and find my days gone with nothing accomplished. But other days, I do manage to achieve a feat that I thought was unattainable. Never quit - tomorrow is another chance to try. Here are some of my accomplishments since the stroke. One thing leads to another. It may be working with children, reading, playing music, painting, gardening, writing, crocheting - it is good medicine for the brain and spirit! Look for Mrs. B - to find my writing This started out as a college assignment - see what it is becoming!I am training my own Service Dog - and we're a team! It is frustrating, but we are survivors. Call me, Stroke Girl! Blessings, Hera

I understand your frustration. Like Fate, I had a bleed - mine was in the right hemisphere, misdiagnosed or rather, not caught in time, by the ER when I went to the hospital, so I had the big bad bleed, and ut caused the stroke. I spent 30 days in the hospital, and I am adapted to the wheelchair - I try to walk, but I lose my balance, my toes curl under, spasticity owns my left side and I can't trust my body to cooperate for walking very far. Depression is a disease, too. The neurological damage to our brain can cause depression. The changes in our lives, tangible and intangible, effect us emotionally and physically. No wonder we become depressed. I suffered from depression before the stroke. It is inherited within my family, but I also have survived traumatic life events that were catalysts for depressive episodes, such as being widowed at age 21 with two small children, my daughter diagnosed with HIV, the death of four family members in a one-yea time frame - there have been some difficult situations to cope with. Therapy and anti-depressants, supoort from friends and family... and faith. As soon as I was in recovery, my doctors prescribed Zoloft, which has worked for me in the past. I don't dare miss a dose, or I will lapse into a depressive episode. It doesn't keep me from having bad days - we ALL have bad days and good days - but I am able to keep my eye on tomorrow. I have a plaque in my bedroom, right over my bed, where I see it regularly. My sister gave it to me. "Live each day as if it were the first day of the rest of your life" - Are you on an anti-depressant? My doctor tried to change me to Cymbalta last year, and I became very depressed within three weeks and had horrible nightmares - I had to quit taking it, wait a few days and go back to Zoloft, then it took about a week to get back on track again. Different drugs react differently on people - if something isn't working, talk to your doctor, ask to change to something else. Are you getting any sunshine? Sunshine helps raise seritonin levels. It doesn't have to be much. KJust a little sun will do. Go outside, look at the flowers, watch the birds and butterflies. Do you have a cat or dog? Pet your animal. Petting animals is therapeutic and also helps aleviate depression by the sensory touch of the human contact with the unconditional love of our pets. I am self-training my service dog, Greta. I got her as a 5-week old Yellow Lab mix puppy from the SPCA, so she has known me only in the wheelchair. We've always had pets, but I knew nothing about training a service dog, especially from a wheelchair. The bond I have with Greta is indescribable. Music. Play music that you like to sing to. Singing raises our spirits. I like to sing hymns - or songs I learned as a child from my mother, or at school - don't laugh, but I like to sing songs from Mary Poppins and The Sound of Music - and I am just a southern girl who likes to sing to the radio, or to the grandchildren. It's normal to be depressed, but don't stay that way. Ask the doctor about meds, laugh when you can,, and try think positive - I know it's easier said than done. I don't have answers, but I do understand. Blessings, Hera

LOL! Helpless, that sounds just like something my Dad would have loved! Keep up your spirits! Laughter is good for the soul. Blessings, Hera

Dear Helpless, I just wanted to give you a hug of support. Everyone here means well, but sometimes in this kind of forum, there is misinterpretation and then miscommunication. That might lead, consequently, to feeling resentful, rejected, misuderstood, and even more helpless. There are survivors, caregivers and families and friends of survivors from all over the USA, Europe, Australia, Africa - lots of places. You have noticed, I am sure, a great deal of different experiences and opinions that are as varied as locations. It is obvious that you love your father and have been very concerned about his care, emotionally and physically. I am a 50 year old stroke survivor - in three weeks it will be one year since I had a brain hemorrhage, paralyzing my left side. I happen to live in Texas, but interestingly, I have a sister in Oklahoma and other family in Kansas. Our parents have passed away, but I took care of my father from a distance in a similar manner you describe - he wanted to be at home. In his case, he had heart failure. We worried, and struggled, but in the end, he was at home. He did not want to move closer to us - he wanted to stay in his own town. He refused to go to the hospital - I was not going to force him. I wish you the very best in finding what is best for your dad. I think it is probably best for him to be where he is happiest and most comfortable - follow your instincts and your heart. Medicines and therapy can only do so much - the human spirit thrives on love, and you're doing a great job of loving your dad already. Blessings, Hera I hope you find