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yesdear20003

I need learn how to be a good caregiver

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Hello everyone 

I am a newbie here , as I want to be the best caregiver ever to my best friend of 30 years

 

I am 57 and my best is not in real good shape

And I am going to be there for my buddy , to help him get thought this.

What has to be his biggest and toughest challenge ever for him.

I look forward to any and all the help you experts can give me.

 

Thank you

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What I wanted and needed most, especially immediately after my stroke, was someone who would give me some comfort and support (nothing special, just hanging around or chatting), who would calm my fears when I get anxious (again, nothing special, just saying "it'll be OK"), and who made it clear that they were in this for the long haul, and were not going to abandon me.

 

First thing to to be there and to be present.  Next is to ask him what he wants or needs.  Often just having someone there, or holding a hand, is all that os needed.

 

You will do a great job; your friend is lucky to have you.

 

 

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Thank you for your reply PaulNash

 

My friend's name is shannon

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On 2/20/2019 at 9:15 PM, PaulNash said:

What I wanted and needed most, especially immediately after my stroke, was someone who would give me some comfort and support (nothing special, just hanging around or chatting), who would calm my fears when I get anxious (again, nothing special, just saying "it'll be OK"), and who made it clear that they were in this for the long haul, and were not going to abandon me.

 

First thing to to be there and to be present.  Next is to ask him what he wants or needs.  Often just having someone there, or holding a hand, is all that os needed.

 

You will do a great job; your friend is lucky to have you.

 

 

These things are so so true. I can't agree more. Being there and being present for your friend is the greatest thing you can do immediately after he wakes from his stroke. He has a long hard road ahead of him and to not feel alone, or to know you are there during this long journey is HUGE. Jerry will have a lot of therapeutic help at first and man it will be hard. He is really lucky to have you. I also would like to tell you about our forums and other community programs here that can help you as well. There are forums for caregivers and I know all you have to do is ask and someone will answer. There is also a caregiver chat (look at the chat schedule) where you can meet and talk to other caregivers. You can also ask questions, talk about your concerns, talk about the stresses that may come along with caregiving, and find support. There are also links to other Strokenetwork sites in Quick Links at the top in a drop down menu, there is a caretaker link there as well as others that deal with stroke, stroke deficits, and the health side of stroke. Under Quick Links you can also "Ask an expert" and a link to Strokenet Blogs. I hope some of these things help Jerry. 🙂 God bless.

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What everyone has already said is all so very true. I, too, have some suggestions: You don't say what Shannon's limitations are, or if they're from a stroke.

If Shanon is in a rehab facility, or a nursing home, and receives therapy, try to attend a few sessions with him/her so that you can be a little prepared for his needs. if you can, talk to his therapists, and get information and "how-to's" from them.

Try to be patient. Stroke recovery is slow and hard.

Good luck. You're a good friend!   Becky 

 

 

 

 

 

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My daughter is my best caregiver.  She reads me so well.

 

Can you read Shannon?  Everyone is going to give you great advice, I do not doubt that for a second.  Some of the best advice I think you’ll be given is from Shannon himself.  If he’s reaching for something, and you know he’s given his all but had a gutful, grab it for him.  You know? Each situation is different. Each rehab worker will tell you something different (we all experience that unfortunately). The person who  needs the help, is the best person to talk to.  Even if Shannon can’t talk, be guided by facial expressions, grunts and moans.

 

This is my opinion only.

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Janelle (GreenQueen) is right about helping physically when he really needs it, but also be aware that sometimes we want or need to do things for ourselves. You want to help not take over and sometimes you will need to do the "tough love" thing but take your queue on that from Shannon and his therapists.  Learning to ask do you "want" help with that before taking action to help is important.  And help him to understand that wanting help and needing help are not necessarily the same thing too.

 

 

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