Daf's Blog

  • entries
    3
  • comments
    21
  • views
    2,482

I wish some people understood me !!!!


Daf

1,064 views

Having a bad couple of days and hearing my family tell me o its because your sister got marry like a week ago its from all the partying !!! Im like no its not i had a stroke people ,, and im still healing ,,. Its not like ok i broke my arm or leg and its heals in 4 to 6 weeks !!!!.. THe healing process takes sometime and the doctor said to me that im going to have good days and bad ones and the bad ones may feel like the first day of your stroke ..... I am not going to sit here and explain myself to my family and friends on why i am having a bad day ,.. I know they dont understand ,, or know how i am feeling ,, . My mom i think is in denial about it ,, were my wife she getting better at it ,, my sister she listens to me and doesnt say anything to me were i rather that ,, my friends on the other hand try to understand and if they dont they tell me but also say if you ever need to talk im here for you ... My aunt i want to tell her to *beep* off ,,, .. Tired of hearing your lucky to be alive,,, i know i am !!!! I thank the person up stairs every day that i am here to see my son and my wife and family all the time ,,... Its not easy being me at times ,... On someone bad day its my worse day ,,.. I have been having more bad ones lately for whatever reason ..... I hope it gets better i dont like the new me ...... I cry when im having a really bad day and wish that things were alot different ,,.. Trying to make a new life for my self isnt easy at all,,, having patient after a stroke is a bitch ,,, Its hard !!!!!!......

7 Comments


Recommended Comments

Daf: STOP explaining yourself to people who don't care to know. Your son and wife are there, they know,support and love you. With hard work on your part and their help, you will get through this.

 

Don't share your good and bad days. I stopped doing that over a year ago with Bruce's people. Just my sister and his out of state roommates, who call often, because they do care and they do want to help, even if just for me, because they are out of state. But they would be on the next plane out if I asked!

 

Find your support group. Vent with them. OK to take your wife out of the mix at times, she is under enough stress, but know in your heart she is there if you need her.

 

Refocus on you and your family. Patience come with time. I am lucky in that Bruce has the patience of a saint, which offsets me.

 

When people call, stock answer: its a slow go, but we are moving ahead. And end it there. Best, Debbie

Link to comment

Wow, I'm a caregiver and was just venting in my own blog post about how my husband doesn't have motivation and initiative. Then I read your post. You have helped me so much to understand what my husband must be going through. Don't get discouraged! It's very hard for people that aren't going through this to understand how difficult it must be. Everyone is usually wrapped up in their own problems. I agree with Ethyl17 - refocus on yourself and your family. I wish you all the luck and thanks for setting me straight.

Link to comment

Daf:

 

what I learnt from my stroke journey is that nobody else cares about how you are doing except your wife & son, so don't worry about what others think & say since no one else does so why waste your energy & happiness about thinking what others think. few things helped me deal with new reality sooner than later.

 

1. blogging & chatting with other survivors helped me deal with new me.

2. writing 5 things I am greatful for in my gratitude journal

3. focusing on what I can still do

4. reading lot of spiritual books also helped.

 

things will get better Daf give a time, things has to improve & change for good. I believe you survived for a reason & not as a punishment. so enjoy this second chance to fullest.

 

Asha

Link to comment
Daf:

 

what I learnt from my stroke journey is that nobody else cares about how you are doing except your wife & son, so don't worry about what others think & say since no one else does so why waste your energy & happiness about thinking what others think. few things helped me deal with new reality sooner than later.

 

1. blogging & chatting with other survivors helped me deal with new me.

2. writing 5 things I am greatful for in my gratitude journal

3. focusing on what I can still do

4. reading lot of spiritual books also helped.

 

things will get better Daf give a time, things has to improve & change for good. I believe you survived for a reason & not as a punishment. so enjoy this second chance to fullest.

 

Asha

Thank you ,,, and you right there is a reason i didnt leave this world ,,, who knowns why we get as sick as we do ,,, but i did and yes it is a challenge everyday but i do get up and face the day and spend all my time with my son ,, i love his mornings hugs ,,, i know things will get better im the type things had to be done yesterday ,,.. but i do know things take time...
Link to comment
Daf: STOP explaining yourself to people who don't care to know. Your son and wife are there, they know,support and love you. With hard work on your part and their help, you will get through this.

 

Don't share your good and bad days. I stopped doing that over a year ago with Bruce's people. Just my sister and his out of state roommates, who call often, because they do care and they do want to help, even if just for me, because they are out of state. But they would be on the next plane out if I asked!

 

Find your support group. Vent with them. OK to take your wife out of the mix at times, she is under enough stress, but know in your heart she is there if you need her.

 

Refocus on you and your family. Patience come with time. I am lucky in that Bruce has the patience of a saint, which offsets me.

 

When people call, stock answer: its a slow go, but we are moving ahead. And end it there. Best, Debbie

you know your rite and im tired of doing it ,, no one understand unless you have been there ,,... No one really cares how i feel but my family well some of them .. thanks for the pep talk ..
Link to comment
Wow, I'm a caregiver and was just venting in my own blog post about how my husband doesn't have motivation and initiative. Then I read your post. You have helped me so much to understand what my husband must be going through. Don't get discouraged! It's very hard for people that aren't going through this to understand how difficult it must be. Everyone is usually wrapped up in their own problems. I agree with Ethyl17 - refocus on yourself and your family. I wish you all the luck and thanks for setting me straight.
Im glad i have helped you understand i think ,,, its just hard a times you explain to someone what your day is like on a bad day !!! Or how your mind is after a stroke ,, i still havent fully understood why or accepted by self that i had a stroke ,,.. Maybe i dont want to and thats why i am not healing the way i am suppose to ,,, In time im sure i will ,, i dont even know if i like the new me either i have alot to work on,,, ... And im sure its hard on a caregiver as well ,,....
Link to comment

HI I DON T EXPLAIN MYSELF TO OTHER PEOPLE ANYMORE. YES ITS VERY FRUSTRATING AND DEEP DOWN INSIDE, I GET MAD. I JUST SAY UH HAH, OR NOD MY HEAD OR I DON T SAY ANYTHING PATTY

Link to comment
Guest
Add a comment...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.