Ruth:

Its amazing how much william has progressed in 3 years. I feel worst is first few years now things are only going to improve. by looking back from time to time you appreciate your gains & life more fully.

Asha

Reading what you said made me remember too. I had just stroked and was on my first week in Nicu when this little woman came in from the PT department. She was young and looked more like a new kid just hired out of college rather than the head PT of the entire PT department!

It was our first meeting and she was there to assess me and get me up to "walk" so she could see what I would need. We started off on the wrong foot right away but soon we understood each other and everything worked out. Both of my legs were effected though one is so lightly effected I mostly don't think about it but I have no perception of whether I am standing straight or leaning...severely leaning to the point I can just topple over. But I think I'm standing up straight!

She got me up and had me just stand to see if I could and just when I thought I was doing great she grabbed me and yanked me hard toward her which startled me and I "went off!" She explained I was leaning and she thought I was going to fall and I settled down and told her I didn't know I was leaning and to warn me the next time she wanted to "help" me...like she had time to warn me, right? sheesh!

But she smiled and took a step back and immediately I saw her face change. I was very independant even in my poor condition and very determined. She told me later that when she had her department meeting the next day to assign the new patients that came in during the weekend to PTs in her department that she told them "this one's mine".

Some nurses and staff would get frustrated with me because I wouldn't ask for nor accecpt help even when it was obvious I was struggling and frustrated myself! The PT said to me that if I could do something even if it was hard and frustrating to do it. That in time it would be easier. She said that some stroke patients inadvertantly keep themselves disabled by letting others do things for them because it's too hard. I think we all thought by the end they created a monster.

I had put on a flannel shirt and was trying to button the sleeve with my weak hand which I couldn't do. She walked over after a few minutes and asked if she could help me. I was going home the following week so I said " Are you coming home with me to button my sleeves anytime I need it?" and she said no. I said "well I better figure out how to do it myself". I saw that day and already knew that she wasn't mean. I saw her watching me and saw on her face it was as hard for her to watch me struggle as it was for me to struggle. She wanted so much to get me out of that frustration and feeling of hopelessness but she stood there...and let me try...and fail. But efore I went home I did it and we both were excited.

If William is tired and you want to help him move his leg, than do it. But if he CAN move his leg even if it's hard, don't buy that junk that you're mean or the therapist is mean for having him do it himself. Someday he may just thank you.

I hope you have many more rewarding (if even exhausting) days.

Jamie

Ruth, what a great outing for you and William. I so look forward to doing things like this with Larry. He would be totally exhausted after riding for even a couple of hours. I too am remembering when Larry first came home and he still had trouble just transferring from the bed. He was in a wheelchair but soon, after outpaitient therapy, was able to walk with a cane. For that I am so grateful.

William seems to have a lot of energy and stamina. I hope after Larry gets use to the CPap, he will too.

You are also able to enjoy the warm weather there I'm sure. We had a frigid cold snap here in the single digits. Too cold for anything!

Hope to see you in chat.

Julie

Ruth: you know I always look to you and William. Bruce is just three months post stroke after William and they were affected on different sides, but I do so look forward to your posts and blogs as to what is working and how you are coping.

Great jaunt. No wonder both of you are tired. But so glad you enjoyed it and a wonderful outing for you both.

Bruce's long leg brace was reconditioned and since we had snow today and it was an "in" day, I asked him if we could try it after his shower. It was very painful, but he was a trooper. I have trouble with this new PT in that she does not seem to have a lot of experience with "devices" so I told Bruce how thankful I was that he worked this out with me first.

Leo mentioned this week that I was not asking Bruce to raise his affected foot to help put on pants and shoes, so I have been working on that this week with him.

Like you and Julie-our anniversaries are so close-I look back at all we have accomplished and how far Bruce, Larry and William have come in recovery. All of us different, with different priorities and deficits, but somehow content and willing to move forward. Debbie

I guess it seems like you are not getting anywhere until you look back and see the changes. The outing sounds wonderful for both of you. I never had a lot of success getting Dick to excersize but their was one thing that seemed to work with him. We had a small block of wood for Dick to put his foot up on and down several times a day. He didn't know it but the block got bigger over time! Somehow this really strengthened his affected leg and though it took a year he was eventually able to walk around the house unassested until he had to go into the nursing home.

Ruth

All I can say and attest to is the more we know and learn the better we can recover and do things we thought were not coming our way in life again! I'm very happy for William and for you staying by his side like my wife did me. That's what I call a happy recovery, I'm over joyed Ruth and my wife will find the time to stop by and visit you all hopefully on your day OFF! You two are always in my prayers and much more recovery shall come your way this year. It just takes time. lots of time and therapy. William, take care my friend we got lots of family life left God willing!!

I've had a bit of nerve pain in my back lately since my brothers funeral on 21 January but I'm getting better day by day. I just haven't been very active on the message board lately! In time I shall return again!

Fred!