I should be working on how to get the new Email up and running. It is a month. Those that know and care, call. But not many have stepped up and I always updated every week. I just have to be into doing computer stuff. And after a day here at home and then work, just can't seem to think or problem-solve.

Interesting thread tonight in Chat. Some of our people are being decertified yet again by their therapies. We are allowed so little time by our various Insurances. We see improvement, willingness to work with strangers and then, Bam-so sorry, plateau'd again. We get into a routine. We, as caregivers, schedule around these times, get some time off, fall into the pattern of being able to structure in all the other stuff and then have to re-program, yet again.

I am becoming used to the fact that each new season brings these changes. No I don't like them and I am one of the few who can adjust work hours to accomodate this. I can only sympathize with those who must work and don't have the flexibility I have.

Seems to be the challenge with therapy to get the most they can. And certainly in Bruce's case that is true. As professionals, they see and get results, know their time is limited and are forced to place the responsibility back on the family. Bruce loves his pool and now, tomorrow I will be signed off on the Estim bike, which he also thinks he likes (only two sessions), but PT advised Monday he is decerted after tomorrow, so only alternative is to train me. And then there is Bruce's work. 40 minutes up and back.

Last time all this was on me, I was not working. I ask myself, what do I do now? I am making a list for Bruce: what is important, what are you willing to do?" In his mind, he is also thinking "how much more can she take?" I want an honest answer from him. If I have to get another caregiver for a couple of days-pool, bike or work-I can do that. But I need an honest answer as to what he is willing to do. And no, there will no longer be any Jen days, when he did not feel like pool, but she got him out and about-dollar store, library, etc. because Jen's are hard to find.

Stroke asks for two lives and that I know is true. It is up to the unaffected one to try to balance recovery and everything else. We are having an extremely warm early spring. It is hot here, even at 9:30pm at night in Connecticut. Bruce is totally confused. He is hot, but refuses to have bed clothes reduced. And if he does not sleep well, what does that entail for tomorrow's decert? I know finally, there is no end to this. This is the rest of my life. Try to find balance as to what is best for him in recovery and how I cope here. I hate to think I will again have to give up work, but if it is truly best for Bruce, what am I to do? And yes, I have the advantage of being able to decide that.

We were talking today at work. Neighbor up the street needs help with his disabled parents, and my Cliff across the street with his Mom and neighbor at the end of the street with his Mom. A quality CNA could make a fortune on my street! I have access to the best. Part of me thinks I am definitely in the wrong business! Debbie