Mary Beth and I had kind of a fun day today. Pre-stroke we could talk to each other two, three times a day. That was when conversations were fun and free. When seeing something funny outside, like the day I saw a coyote in my back yard, or a special plant that had bloomed; something either one of us saw at work or shopping; something the girls needed that was easier for me to get.

Not so much now, mostly when she can come; her week, what is going on with the girls, how therapy is going for Bruce. But today was so much like a few years back. We spoke this morning for almost an hour. Bruce had gotten up early and he was reading at that point. Mary's husband was at work, her daughter had spent overnight with a friend and the disabled person Mary takes on his Saturday errands did not want to go this morning.

I had to call her this afternoon to see if she had the dumpling recipe. My box of Bisquick, the one from the box store, did not have it. I Know! Can you believe that! Half an hour later I found the missing stuffed cabbage she had brought last visit and called to tell her that. 20 minutes after that she called to tell me her Hummingbird had returned this Spring. And a half hour after that to tell me that they had a Texas Hold Tournament at her lodge, but she did not play.

While life will not ever return to what it was 3 years ago, it was still nice to be reminded that some things may have been put on hold, but can return, strong and true.

After my "What did you do for you today?" post, I sat for many hours reviewing all the wonderful suggestions I received. So much of our week is determined by me. Part of that is just household management and therapy, appointment scheduling. But a large part of it is knowing Bruce wants to get out of the house every day, so I space things out to accomodate that. One suggestion was that this may not, in fact be good for Bruce. If he knows I have most of the day planned, there is no reason for him to suggest or even think of anything on his own. And in mulling this over, of course his thought processes would not even go in that direction-retraining, Ethyl, you know better!

So I have tried to introduce some simple things-cleaning up his own table, putting his Estim stuff away, leaving his afternoon snacks on the small fridge, where he can get them. Nothing major-remember it is still on me to remind him, so kept the list small, manageable. And true to himself, Bruce needed reminders for a couple of times and now just does them. This morning we started with upper body wash up, as much as he can do himself.

Since things were going so well, I asked what he had planned for the day. He said nothing, I said there were a few things I needed to do in the yard and then wanted to take my walk before I hopped in the shower. I offered to bring him outside, either on the deck or driveway, he declined. But at supper time, and maybe because I was having such a happy, laughing time with Mary on the phone, he came out into the kitchen to help with dinner. I said to him, I am sorry you did not come outside with me today, just for the company. And he said, So am I!

Tonight he is watching a comic that we both like. I told him this show was on at 10am this morning! And I mentioned for him to think about what he wanted to do tomorrow. There is no list for him to check, nothing on the calendar. I was thinking if he saw the week planned out, he will just say whatever you need to do.

Another funny aside is that we had to do the BJ's run yesterday. That and my walk was going to wear me out and I would need some rest before work. Since those carts are too big for Bruce to manage one-handed with me pushing him, he just "tools" around; books, cards, clothing until I am done. They had food sample carts set up all through the store. I'd bring him whatever it was as I came upon them. When we got in the truck to head home I said to him "don't even think about asking for lunch!" We laughed all the way home!

So he is up to 2 1/2 miles on the Estim bike. PT is adding resistance to his program, expects to have that programmed and move Bruce up to 45 minutes. At that point, he will be discharged from PT. We will be allowed to use the bike for a small fee in addition to the pool costs. But I think I am going to see how Bruce wants to deal with this. I can, of course, just sign us up for the bike and plan pool for the other days. But think I am just going to see how it plays out. Good week all. Debbie