When I got to the nursing home today the assistant to the physiotherapist came to see me and said she was concerned about Ray's right shoulder as he is again complaining of pain there. I told her about the episode ten days ago when I found him leaning over with his right arm draped downwards and his hand reaching the floor. She said she knew nothing about it so it either wasn't documented or not brought to her attention. She said she would look into it. She came back later and asked to borrow him for five minutes to go through a range of motion exercise with him.

When they came back she said there were definite changes in his abilities and what would I like to do about it? I suggested that she just keep up the exercises and wait and see. I think it is too late to do a lot of things for Ray now, if there has been a new problem with his shoulder an operation would not be the answer anyway. It seems as if I just get complacent about his condition and something happens to wipe the smile off my face. They use a protective sling on his stroke affected left arm as without it that arm just dangles down now but his right arm needs to be kept strong, that will not happen if he has some problem with his shoulder. I am wondering if there has been another fall I have not been told about, it seems not everything is documented as it should be.

It was this time last year when the problems that led to his hospitalization and consequent nursing home placement started. I know his conditions are all sequential and ongoing but it is so easy to imagine on his good days that there is nothing much wrong with him and it is all a lot of fuss about nothing. And then along comes another problem to reaffirm that he is a sick man, it is progressive and here comes another bump in the road.

The visit to Mum was good today, I managed to give her her morning tea drink. She was a little difficult to wake up but I managed to do it. I left her in the big hall with the "church service" just starting. The organist started to play and her left foot started to tap in mid-air, she can still hear that music. I encountered a former nurse from the Dementia Lodge who remembered me and said she is now working one day a week as a pastoral care worker in the Nursing Home and has visited Mum who she is quite fond of. Good to know that old staff members still think of Mum and remember her as she was in times past.

I went to a funeral this afternoon, the lady who did Sunday school before I started a couple of years ago died last week. Her death was the result of breast cancer, she was only 69, the same age as Ray. With her daughter married to a new Zealander the singing was good, the Maori people like the Pacific Islanders can really sing. Her grandson who used to come to Sunday School when he did a sleepover at his grandparents place did a part of the Eulogy, and did it very well. It was a sad day but they made it a celebration of her life. Our church ladies provides a light meal after the funeral and that was much appreciated.

We are constantly reminded that "in the midst of life we are in death". In both nursing homes I see new people and know that someone else has passed away to make their place available. Autumn reminds us of death as Spring reminds us of new life. But in another three weeks, after the official start of winter, I will have a new grand baby. Edie is keeping well, I spoke to her on the phone tonight and she said they are almost ready to receive the new little one into their home. She is tired and Trev is working a few extra hours every week now he is settled into his new job and is on the machines again so he is tired too.

I try to maintain hope, sometimes it is hard as I see the deterioration in Ray and Mum slowly slipping away but I think of the new life to come, the little ones I already have and pray there is still a lot of time ahead for me when I will be here to see them grow. It is the constant hope I have, my wish for the future. I also have to remember that we as a family are loved by a lot of people. I am so appreciative of those who pray for us, here in our real life and there on Strokenet too as so many pass on their loving thoughts to us. It is a great encouragement to me when so many others have problems of their own and still remember us in their prayers.

Today we had the fifth hottest day of this year! And it is almost winter! Such topsy turvy weather! I managed to get Ray's right ear sunburned as he was sitting as I thought under the shade with a peaked hat on but of course his ears were exposed to the hot sun shining through the shadecloth "sails". Silly me, I should have taken in one of his Akubras. I would do only the chances of it going missing is too high. I doubt we will have many more of theses warm days but today was a beautiful day.