oh yes -- he is thinking and the kind of thinking he is doing is very retrospective and actually advanced.. although his insecurity in himself - right now- are surfacing it is a good sign ( i believe)..nancyl

I think it is natural for a high achiever to want to be a hero. The higher up the ladder though the harder the fall. But Bob will still have that ability to be a spokesperson, many have become a spokesperson for their disability group. I can think of a lot of examples not the least being Christopher Reeves.

I am a Lion and at our inductions we often refer to Helen Keller, who was blind and deaf from birth and yet became one of our inspirations when she told our founder Melvin Jones that as a group we should become "Knights to the Blind". Our Sight First Foundation is just that.

We are not finished when life draws us a difficult barrier, we are not vanquished when our life goes off the rails, instead we become a different "Bob", just as "Bob" as before but in a different way. Able to relate to people who are not the same group as before but now of the same group as we find ourselves in. The old personality with some new news to bring to others.

I read a lot of biographies as it suits how I think now. Maybe there is someone who has struggled back from the edge who can insptre Bob. Or maybe Bob will be the one to inspire others.

Sue.

When I first noticed he was thinking more, I was really happy because I associated it with him improving. I never thought about him starting to think about the place he finds himself in now, wondering if people saw him as the Bob they knew, or some 'old guy'. Seeing him realizing these things is actually harder than realizing them myself. My empathy instincts are too darn good, I suffer my own feelings, and his twice as hard. I'm sure you all know exactly what I mean, and have done the same. I remember after his stroke when my son was home and we were trying to move things from the other house to our storage locker. When I saw all his bike riding helmets and water bottles, I cried unconsolably, because I knew he was changed forever, and what that loss would mean to him. Now I see him knowing that, and the wound is opened in my heart again.

Sandy :

I agree with Sue 100%, just because life sent him curveball & he is knocked down from the path he was walking on does not make him less of Bob, as a human being we are shedding most of our outer exterior, outer body does not define us, we are completly different from the way we looked as toddler, teenager to now as adult. I went through same question myself who am I after my stroke if I am not software Engineer till I realise I am here & survived for a reason & I am still same old Asha maybe more wise than before & I like new & improved myself. tell him he is still Bob & this adversity in his life might bring something better in both of your life even though it does not seem that way yet, but have faith in God's plan for your life. please ask him to start journaling his thoughts online or in book that will help him see how far he has come in recovery.

Asha

Sue is right. I believe that he will again one day use the ability of speaking to people for a different purpose. I know he loved his job and it was a full filling one for that time in his life but things are different now. He may not be the same "Bob" physically but he is the same "Bob" mentally, somewhere down deep inside him, and it will resurface again. I believe that with all my heart! Love and prayers to both of you!

I believe he will help others when he gets past this himself, too. There is a support group here, but it doesn't meet in the summer. Hope to get there this fall with him, so maybe he can see others like himself, and begin to feel 'normal' and look forward to being some help to others. I have transferred something I put here about it, to a new post, so people wouldn't miss it.