• entries
    812
  • comments
    3,772
  • views
    231,728

some summer holiday!


swilkinson

1,346 views

I wonder why I think if I just sit down and talk to "someone" all will be well and I will sort things out and things will be different? I had planned to talk to my daughter about the difficulties I am going through with processing my grief, the loneliness, the frustrations etc but we never seemed to have the time to just sit down and do it. A Salvation Army officer is constantly on call and as soon as she'd sit down with a cup of coffee and a free couple of hours the phone would ring and she was off on a call, or consulting some other service to give a helping hand to someone.

 

It didn't help that there was a mini cyclone in the early hours 20 minutes drive away on the first Sunday I was there. There were 28 homes wrecked, 28 families made homeless plus two blocks of rental flats damaged as well. Her Corps was on standby for a day to help out at the evacuation centre but local people filled in the needed duties and she stayed home. She did have to do two welfare calls in the area. A young Mum with a couple of kids called for assistance and another family called who had moved into temporary accommodation in a trailer park and had no food. I admire how much she does, she works very hard to be that "angel of mercy" some people think of the Salvation Army Officers as being.

 

I've just returned from ten days at my daughter's place, ten days of rain! So far both January and February have had above normal rainfalls and March is shaping up nicely. No need to say I took my swimsuit and it never got wet? After all this was supposed to be a summer holiday! I could have danced around the front lawn in the rain in it, if I had stayed longer I probably would have, just for the exercise. I did a couple of walks alongside the Lake in sunny periods on a couple of days so did do some walking.

 

Long rainy days are bad enough when you are at home and can just put your feet up and relax and watch no-brainer movies and eat popcorn in your armchair but in someone else's house that is difficult - thank goodness for reading, that is how I occupied my time while the rest of the household were busy with their daily chores. I had some time with my grandchildren, talked to my son-in-law, went to various places with Shirley. I loved Mini Music with Mums and toddlers happily dancing around the Hall to various songs much loved by the under-fives and yes, I still remember how to make Incy Wincy Spider climb up the Water Spout. Without the cheerful company I enjoyed I know that so many days of rain with just my own company would have driven me mad.

 

For the sake of Aussies who are enjoying a warmer summer than we are I will mention that my daughter took me to the Robertson Show last Saturday. It was about 23 degrees (70) when we left Shirley's to drive up over the Escarpment and when we arrived the other side the temp was 11 degrees (50). Let's say we were underdressed for that kind of weather and hussled in and out of buildings as much as we could and stayed for a couple of hours but in the end decided it was just too cold and wet. The light rain then turned to sleet as we ran back to the car, parked away out in the paddock and the car's heater remained on high until we all stopped shivering. That is what Shirley described as an adventure!

 

I'll now settled back into routine and see where life leads me. I know of events coming up in the church and various other organisations I belong to that I will be able to join in. There will be periods of busyness and periods of solitude. I am getting more used to being alone now. I don't fret about it as much as I did six months ago. I don't know that I will ever like living as a widow but I might learn to tolerate it. Of course I got back to some bills to be paid but hey! everyone does that, don't they?

 

Summer may linger after the rain finally goes away or it may just be that temperatiures stay at their current lower-than-normal level. I hope there are still some sunny days ahead to enjoy some walking and even maybe another opportunity to get my swimsuit wet.

9 Comments


Recommended Comments

Yikes! A 20 degree drop that fast would be tough no matter where you live.

Link to comment

Glad you got away Sue, sometimes you need a change of scenery as a punctuation mark in your life. Seeing family is always a joy, although I remember being like your daughter, so busy with my various jobs that I couldn't always participate in family gatherings as much as I would like. Trying to make up for lost time now, and grateful that I have the opportunity. But 10 days is a nice vacation, hope you did get to have a little talk with your daughter anyway. She sounds like the right one to talk to. Oh well, there's always the phone.

 

Welcome back, we mised you!

Link to comment

Sue :

 

welcome back, I am glad you got to spend time with your daughters family & enjoy her company. We all missed you on board, I missed your thoughtful comments & support in our blogworld.

 

Asha

Link to comment

Well you had time off which you needed very much and you can use the same swim suit next time since you didn't even get it wet. I hope you got some rest too!

Link to comment

Sue, I think I'd have been really honked. Everyone in the world can take off 'work' and spend time with family. Ignoring the fact that you came there, in need yourself, while waiting on others' needs, was a bad oversight, in my eyes. I know you are proud of her, BUT, you have needs and went there to try to address them, and yet, everyone else's needs were important.... but not yours. She could have taken off a few days and let someone else do it. People, like your daughter and my husband, think they are so important, no one else could ever step in for them. It's not true. I'm sorry your needs were the ones that weren't addressed. I know you are doing the stiff upper lift and so proud of her, but somewhere in your heart, you probably feel like you were swept under the rug. Being selfless and helping others, should not just apply to strangers. I hope you are not offended by what I've said, and if you are, I apologize. I just know how I'd feel, anyone, hurting, would feel.

Link to comment

Sue: so glad you are back. We did so miss you in Chat. Nothing like a summer with all rain.

 

I look back now when I was an EMT and Air lift supervisor. So many mornings that scanner would go off and I would find Brittany on the stairs, worried about who would iron her uniform. We talk about that now, so often. Izabella's birthday this weekend and yet again, Debbie may or may not be there. But like you, she knows and understands. Shirley does what she has to do, and for that I know you are very proud. One only wants the best for their children.

 

So you are home, in miserable weather. Will get some projects done, consider some of the programs your Organizations offer - what you might want to get involved in. And if Shirley finds a break, you can finally decide to go last minute. You have that choice - after all these years - choice!

 

Mary and the girls are coming for the weekend of course. Mary and I both get to the spot where we need some time together - funny how sisters are. But this has nothing to do with either of us. Sue, she tries so hard to balance family and Bruce and I - my new life. And who has been there more for me. I love that they are all coming. But it is about Izabella's birthday and both sides of the family will be there. Not real comfortable for Bruce. I plan our normal weekend and we will catch up later - never enough time. And just hope that Bruce might want to go. Tomorrow night baby! Debbie

Link to comment

Sandy I talked to my daughter again last night on the phone. She sounds tired. She is so busy. I wonder sometimes if we expect too much of those who minister to us, ministers, counsellors, social workers, much more than we expect of higher paid professionals. She is still ministering to those who were affected by the flooding and the tornado that occurred two weeks ago, People are only just getting back into their houses and assessing the damage and realising they need help.

 

I have been sick the past couple of days, just a head cold, but enough to feel I need to look after myself better.It is sad that when others were sick there I was to look after them but now it is just me on my own none of that TLC is available for me. I don't want to feel needy or selfish or that life is "all about me". But I do need others to reach out to me sometimes and that is not happening right now.

 

Link to comment

Sue, I'm sorry your holiday was rainy and gloomy in more ways than one. Still, there was a connection with family and that had its moments of joy. I do wish you had been able to have that sit-down talk with your daughter. Perhaps that will still be available to you and her in the near future. My guess is you both would benefit from it. It sounds like she is working on overload and must be exhausted.

 

Time for Sue. Others might need to know you are needing a bit extra right now. Any friends you could call on to bring some chicken soup and a bit of love? I know--you'd rather not have to ask. But often others are waiting in the wings, willing to help but not knowing how or when. If that's not possible, well, you gotta go for it yourself. What would a "nurture Sue day" look like? Put something into tomorrow that's completely indulgent. Some days it really can be all about you. ~~Donna

Link to comment

Sue, hope you are feeling better. I understand that you feel like you need some TLC, we all need that, and agreeing with Donna, we needs days when it is all about us. I hope that you get to talk to your daughter, it sounds like she is getting tired, and need time to just step away and rest!.

God bless Sue

 

Yvonne

Link to comment
Guest
Add a comment...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.