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My quest for the best....day care, that is!



Ray is coming along nicely, and adapting to his Depakote very well. He is so much happier, sleeping well and waking up in a mellow mood; although a few glitches like upset stomach which I plan on discussing with the hospital doc today. Hopefully just an adjustment period and not permanent, or maybe his levels are too high. Then this Saturday night, we have the overnight stay for his sleep apnea test; in the same hospital, but in an area with no nurses so I have to stay with him. No biggie, it's only from 8PM to 6AM...but wait til they try to wake Ray up that early! I won't be surprised if he refuses to get up at all, that's way early for him.


I finally rescheduled the tour of the fancy SNF/day care out east, and we went to visit yesterday without too much resistance on Ray's part. (I did treat him to a nice lunch afterwards so maybe that helped) I was more scared than him really, I have mixed feelings about "placing him", but also know I have to have some time to myself to figure out how to get some kind of cash flow going, and then to put my plans into action. Something I've never had trouble doing before, but a little more complicated now.


Maybe because it was late in the afternoon, but all the patients seemed to be just sitting around by themselves, putting together puzzles or sufing the net in different corners of the place. I imagined a little more activity happening, hopefully they were tired after a long day of fun and games? Not sure anyone there was looking for a new friend as I'd hoped, they did say hello but went right back to their solitary activities. The director did mention the therapy room was usually buzzing, but apparently everyone was done for the day. And there is a TV, but does everyone else want to watch Orange County Choppers or Deadliest Catch all day long? I could see Ray fighting some little old lady for the remote control.


We had long meeting with the director, her son actually has a career similar to Ray's and her husband is the same age as him, so lots of things to talk about besides the necessary stuff. She was well versed in stroke and aphasia. But when she saw Ray's VA card she said, haven't you checked out VA day care yet? Which was interesting because when I told his psychiatrist last week that we were going to visit this place, the one that his social worker had so highly recommended, he said, but why aren't you going to the VA? He actually said, all the other facilities are just a bunch of old ladies (which didn't seem to be true to me, interesting remark). On top of it all, a year or so ago the Eldercare person I used also recommended the VA above all others. She had given me the director's name but I lost it, wasn't really interested at the time. But the director yesterday now also gave me the name and raved about that facility for someone like Ray. They have classes in things like photography or mechanics, which sound a lot more stimulating than what I saw the people at her place doing. I just left a message at the VA and will set up an appt to tour asap.


Now I know how moms feel when their baby gets on the school bus for the first day of kindergarden. My heart will break when they come to pick him up, I just know it. I've got to get it right the first time, for both of our sakes.


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the VA i think would be the best for Ray given the age and intrests of ray... and we both know if ray is interested in something that is half the battle... if he could go enjoy himself and look at is a treat instead of -- what ever he may think it s... i have hight hope for the va place..

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I don't know about the VA daycare here, but a friend of mine placed her dad in the VA Long Term Care Hospital here and she is very pleased with the facility.


I hope things work out for Ray there and he enjoys the new surroundings.



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Got a call back from the VA director and it's way more complicated than I thought. I will start to unravel the mystery tomorrow, hopefully before Ray's noon etc therapies and then a visit to PCP to see if Ray's liver is disintegrating due to the Depakote. The fun never ends!

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I can only hope the best in what way you all go and something has to work out for Ray and that's a good thing what ever you decide in the end.


For me, I couldn't do it and my wife knows that in writing over a year ago.

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This is so hard. But, I do hope that you find the perfect daycare for Ray.


You do need time for yourself.


Let us know how you work things out.



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Oh boy - you hit the right nail - just like the first day of school. Do you remember standing on the bus stop, putting them on the bus or dropping them off in their classroom and then hyperventilating in the car on the way home?


I remember the first day I let PT just take Bruce and we loved and trusted her. I sat and read-sure you did Debbie, you were up every 5 minutes checking on him - LOL. And Colleen, whatever you choose, you will stand for a few days, in the background, unnoticed; observing. All of us here have done that. Then the discussion on the way home-how did he feel, what did he think? They are our precious and if they are warm, dry and stimulated that is all we ask.


Take the second interview and tour. You will have comparisons and at least some guidelines.

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