• entries
  • comments
  • views

Burning Candle at Both Ends, getting burnt.....



I've been getting about 3-4 hours sleep a night, as I have too much to do, and there is no help for it. Closing is coming on the house, whether I'm ready or not, and they want me out on closing day. The therapist told me she had a doctor's appt Tues at 11, but she could make it by 3, and she had canceled all her other appts, but was coming in just for us, because she knew his insurance worked by days of therapy, not sessions, so she knew we had to take them both together. So let me see, I had the air conditioner guy who wanted to come, but told him know, hubby has therapy. Had my mom who is 84 and I rarely get to see who was coming to within 25 minutes of me, that I could have drove to see her, but no, Bob had therapy. Could have went and worked on the other house, but had therapy. Then of course, there is the work at home, cut grass, dishes, wash, all that normal stuff we never get done. And I could have napped, since I was dead on my feet, but busted my *beep* to get in there to his therapy. So I get there and the reception tells me that sp therapist called and there was a 'family emergency' and she wasn't coming, and she thought she'd wait till I got there to tell me because I had another therapy with PT schedules. I'm sure this family emergency was she decided not to bother to come in! This is the same gal that i go thru and make a month of appts at a time, and have went over and over the 'both appts have to happen the same day, or no appts. If I take one without the other, then I can't get it back, that day will be 1 of the 60 and I will have lost that therapy. If looks could kill, that girl would have been dead.


I was so angry how she took my time for granted like she really thinks I could just go home, no big deal, when I have 5 things to do in every time slot and knocked out the other things, to be THERE. I was so mad that I could not go home and nap, which I really could have used. But went to the house to work. Carried out many things until the Rendevouz was full, then went to Lowes for something I needed. I must have looked as bad as I felt, because the girl at the register immediately asked me if I needed a chair. I said no, because I knew I wouldn't be able to get back up.


I went home and got hubby up and changed, carried in half the stuff that I needed at the new home then put him in the car and we went out for fast food (sorry to you & sorry for me) and then went to the lockers to dump the other things. I could have taken it on the way home, but knew he would be waking up and he likes to go to the lockers.


Came home & went to bed around 9 and acdtually slept 12 hours! I haven't slept more than 3-4 since I can't remember.... I really don't know how I can be overweight, since I never sit down and am working like a man, around the clock.


Recommended Comments

the plain ignorance of people is astounding.... i get the - you have nothing else to do all the time. and rarely that might be true... but that is "me" time... i dont get a manicure or a pedi -- i get sit and vegatate myself time.... which is what i choose to do... but right now - i remember this time well, just last year.. you are working like a dog.. and trying to balance it all... you are almost there!! soon only one house to oversee.. I certainly can see how difficult it is for you with no help-- same for colleen-- i watched her and read your blog and just think wow.. i have kids who, although they help some ( i probably take them for granted) and i still feel overwhelmed... you are doing great Sandy.. the finish line is near.... encouragement - its all i can offer..and a cyber hug (((((())))))

Link to comment

Sandy - do heed Nancy. The end is in sight. At least one thing off your plate.


I am relieved that your mind and body finally shut down for some time. I could advise, but we all have been there. Something that absolutely must be done and you just have to push through it. And still with Bob's recovery a priority-his therapies, enjoying going to the lockers. Yes it is easier without all the "Hooplah" but our spouses have so little to look forward to, to enjoy.


Our therapy is so little now, but I do remember what you are going through. I remember Ruthpill being handed 18 pages of "homework" for OT only. Therapists need to do their jobs, cover all the bases, so the facility gets paid. All well and good for them. As caregivers, we try to educate as best we can. They will either get it or not. But nothing comes before therapy except maybe the medical issues.


I promise there will come down time and time for you. Trick is not to fall into a pattern when the time is finally available and you do not use it. Tough love - to oneself.


Go easy honey, please. Know I am thinking of you and just reach out the next month or so, as you need to. Debbie

Link to comment

Sandy, I can only say your hands are full but you are handling it very well in my opinion. I probably wouldn't have the patience's you got. But I do need my sleep or rest and just here lately I been turning in to bed early each night.


In fact I haven't seen a basketball game yet! The TV be watching me and they start at 7:30 central time. Maybe tonight??

Link to comment
Add a comment...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.