I am going on a holiday. It is the first time I have been away by myself. The other breaks I have had since Ray went into the hostel and nursing home and since he died have only been down the south coast to stay with my daughter. This is different and I am a little anxious. I'd love to tell you all about it but am paranoid about "security" these days when scammers hack into profiles on Face Book etc.
I have had a frantic couple of weeks catching up with all the usual things you do before going on holidays, cleaning, tossing, arranging plant minders, someone to collect the mail etc. My younger son Trev will help out as will a neighbour if there is an emergency. We have had some wild and woolley weather so I need regular checks on the house. After another three day rain event everything is decidedly soggy so I will air what I can and leave the rest.
I am a bit afraid of how I will be meeting up with cousins who I haven't seen in years, as we all know people age differently and that can cause some stress. I know in a couple of cases they are not well so I will put on my caregiver cloak and do what I can, if only keep the caregiver company. That is the idea of the catch-up, to see how they all are and see if there is anything I can do for them. Sometimes someone from outside sees things differently and can help give a different viewpoint. Sometimes the person from the outside should keep silent...I will keep that in mind.
I am also hoping to have some fun. It has been a long time since I have enjoyed a good deep laugh. It has been easier the past few months to see my life as still viable. For a while, like most widows, I thought the best years were behind me with Ray's passing, but now I do see that it is possible to rebuild your life...painfully slow but possible.
I will report in when I get back. **hi**