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An update on everything in general, just to clear the fog from my mind



It's snowing here right now. We are only expecting a few inches, changing to rain tomorrow, but still a beautiful backdrop for my cookie baking this weekend. I have all the ingredients out, just waiting for Ray to get up so I can go full steam ahead. If being in the kitchen doesn't improve my mood, nothing will.


I have been jittery lately because it seems nothing can go right for us these last couple of weeks. Examples: An old friend sent a gift certificate to a restaurant in his Christmas card, but I misplaced it somehow after showing Ray (not unusual for me, to tell the truth). I don't want to tell the friend about it, so that's that for that,I guess. I did dig through all the garbage cans so I don't think I threw it out. I called and thanked him profusely anyway. Ray is mad though. Also my vacuum stopped working shortly before a dinner guest was supposed to arrive last weekend (but on the bright side, she forgot and didn't show) somehow the next day it did work; but they are sending me a free replacement part anyway even though the warranty is expired, so next time I'll be ready for it. This is the second time I had a similar problem. Electrolux just isn't what it used to be.


Next, every Thursday lately I've been posting old family slides on Facebook that Ray took back in the day (Throwback Thursday anyone?) and everyone was loving it, we were all bonding over pictures from the '70s and '80s. But the device that transfers the slides into the computer also broke out of the blue, and since it was out of warranty (even though it was never used before, due to Ray's stroke) I am out of luck on that front. Only option is to buy another, I have spoke to the service dept several times and tried all their suggestions, and even bought a new photo chip at Best Buys but no dice. It did about 40 or 50 slides out of the thousands we have, I was getting such pleasure reading the comments and reminiscing about the good old days. Oh well, I'll have to figure something out, don't want to drop this particular project right now. Really need to pass these on to the next generation. My best memory of all: how Ray used to be able to fix everything and anything.


After Ray's psychiatrist visit last week, with the great news of no changes in meds and three months until the next visit, we celebrated with a nice Mexican meal at a restaurant over that way. Perfection! Then I come home to a $900 oil delivery bill. I was able to sell one of Ray's Lionel trains on ebay which would have helped, but the buyer was a perfectionist and wanted to return it because it wasn't brand new. I said it was "like new" but still, my bad. How the heck do I know, I don't even know how to run them. Ray told me they were fine and I believed him. I lost money on that deal, although I was able to resell at a lower price. Hoping I don't get a complaint again, I didn't say ANYTHING about the condition this time. Live and learn. I try to be honest when I sell stuff so I felt crumby, that someone thought I was a liar.


Ray has had an obsession with watches and time since the stroke, and wanted me to buy him yet another wrist watch, despite the three he had from before and the other one he bought on the last cruise. So I showed him the nicest of the bunch in his drawer, a thin dress Seiko, and said all it needs is a battery. He agreed it was fine for now, so we opened it up to see what the battery looked like in case we had one like it in the basement; then I put all the parts in a Ziploc bag, and somehow between CVS and Radioshack looking for the hard to locate battery I lost the back piece. I called everywhere we had gone, twice, but it is lost forever I guess, laying in a parking lot somewhere. Back to square one on that idea. Now he is demanding to go watch shopping, even though he has a drawerful. Guess that's what he wants for Christmas, his family was always big on the gift aspect of the holiday.


Ah now lets get to Medicaid/Affordable Care! I was told retroactively that I was accepted as of Nov 9 and it went back to July 1, in case I had any bills I had paid myself, that they would reimburse those too. Great! I'm so relieved! I can stop paying COBRA! I had an annual test scheduled the Monday following, so to test the card out I went to CVS to pick up my prescription. And what do you think, the card didn't work!! I can't believe it, maybe it's too soon, so a couple of days later I go again, and the head pharmacist gets called over and says to me, you have two other insurances listed besides this one, so they are denying it due to "other coverage". Like who keeps three separate insurance policies? What the heck? I finally get through to someone at the office, and get sent to the "third party" division, funny how everyone has a different answer but it turns out I can't terminate my COBRA myself as I had done, and that the broker (or else my old HR dept) ALSO had to terminate it. Then to make things even more fun, she said she checked my social security number and the insurance I had back in 2011 is still showing as not terminated either. I felt like Sherlock Holmes as I call the broker and arrange for him to do everything in his power to correct all these problems. Meanwhile I go to the hospital for the test a few days later anyway. The lady at the health insurance and also the billing department at the hospital told me the same thing: They will bill everyone listed and someone will eventually pay. Their exact words. I'm thinking how much I've learned about insurance matters since the stroke, then I laughed at all the times I actually cried when I got a big bill that I had thought was covered and they said wasn't, thinking someone would come knocking on my door and take us to debtors prison. Meanwhile I also arranged to be switched to HIP managed care on Jan 1 through NY State, that wasn't as convoluted (at least so far) once that's set I can go to the two doctors I have chosen for primary and GYN. Hoping it goes smoothly from this point forward! I don't want to be one of those sad people with the story of how they couldn't go to the doctor and subsequently got some terrible disease. But with my luck......


So I hope I made all of you feel better, and that your lives are going a little smoother than mine right now. Nothing totally terrible, but enough little things one after another can drive you mad!


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Colleen, yes I feel better now. lol You really have been through it all! I drove myself silly looking for the lost card we received from a friend also. It didn't have a gift cert. in it, so I guess I was luckier than you. Too many things to do/think of this time of year.


I hope it is smooth sailing for you from now on. Have Merry Christmas and Happy New Year



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Aye aye, I sure do. I will go yell ARGHHHHHH at Ray right now. Too bad he doesn't look like Johnny Depp!


Hopefully I used up all my bad luck for the rest of the year. It was 2000 and 13, after all. I should have known.

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wow! you have a lot going on in your life. and you're doing well to stay afloat. i don't think i could do it at all. i would sink and the world would say "where has david gone" and life would go on.



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Colleen: having the same kind of time as you and Nancy. I wish I could send both of you a Hersey's with almonds which is what I am appeasing myself with.


I have to call on my Insurance. Haven't heard anything yet from the company. At least this little issue won't harm either of us - I pray - LOL. Debbie

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Thanks to all; this next few weeks will be unchartered waters, such a big learning curve for us. The whole Affordable Care Act is such a nightmare, although I think it will work out somehow in the end. They don't really have much choice. Meanwhile,Christmas cookies rule!

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I know when our cobra time is up and he goes on medicare (I won't yet) we will be looking at affordable care for me and as some kind of secondary thing for him. The only thing I'm sure about is that we are not indigent and so our 'affordable' care will mean we won't be able to afford it. I hope it gets straightened around by the time we are due to start trying to figure it out around Sept 2014..... I still remember the nightmare of trying to choose between cobra or the company 'retirement' insurance, and they would not send us the info to compare the plans. I had to cancel appts right and left and had a gum abscess just at that perfect moment. It scares me to think another fiasco like that could be around the corner.

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When I read all you are going through I think back to some of the things I went through with Ray and guess I just don't want to go back there ever! Each season of your life has it's own cares and woes, mine are different but somehow just as painful.


(((hugs))) m Sue.

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I know Sue, I just tell myself "One Day at a Time". We've gotten this far, so I really shouldn't complain. As you say in your blog, everyone has their cross to bear.



Sandy, you can get Affordable Care if your income tax the year before comes out between $21,000 and $96,000 for the two of you. That's off the top of my head but look it up. I know the lower end better than the higher, obviously. If you make more than that, you still get the discounted price, just no advance tax credits. Might be time to start finding out how it works, since you have less than a year to go. It will take several months of research at least, in between everything else you have to do.

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Well I feel so much better after reading your blog LOL.


It the holiday season. Myself I have to go too the doctor tomorrow, the office called me after they took some blood. I am not gettinng work up, I play my christmas music, talk to my God.


Hoping it gets quiter, music, wine and some cookies should help yes?


Have a good holiday



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My cookies will be finished today! And shipped tomorrow. I used to make a dozen varieties, all somewhat fancy; I keep trying to cut back and managed to get down to six this year. But since Ray's stroke, I've been telling my family it's too much (especially since I have to package it all up too and ship throughout the country) and this year I MEAN IT! I told my three nieces, the ones that have kids now, that before next year I am writing out all the old favorites that they grew up on, and passing the fun onto them. They have been warned! And I expect to be getting packages myself from now on. I am turning 60 in April so it's a good time for transitions.


Wine, yes; but I agree with Debbie, vodka may be called for at this point. Ray has been requesting Brandy Alexanders lately too, it's a nice sub for eggnog!


Yvonne, good luck with the doctor, at least we're lucky they can tell so much from your bloodwork now. If it was something really bad, they would have told you to go right to the hospital!

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