The noise stopped at 10.30am this morning (27th) as the last family members left. I survived, I only had a couple of bad moments and managed to hide for a few minutes so no-one knew. It was wonderful to have so many happy moments. Once again no mention of Ray but there were stories from the past shared by brother and sister. Our older son did not come except to drop his children off yesterday. He didn't even come into the house. So still some sadness about that.

Christmas Day turned out well. Children's Church 6pm Christmas Eve was a huge success, kids so enchanting in the Christmas Story play. Many neighbourhood people that come to Messy Church or our Market Days came with their children, not really being used to church but wanting to be there. Lots of laughter and the singing was football crowd rather than heavenly choir but they all joined in. Then Christmas morning threatened to be a disaster as very low numbers when the service started, but more families came five or ten minutes into the service. It was the fourth service in 24 hours but enough people came to make it worth while. There is such a lot of preparation goes into these four services that it is nice when people say they enjoyed it all. Makes it worth the time and effort somehow. I was a part of two of them and although it is tiring it is part of the tradition of the church I belong to so I gave of my best.

Family lunch at Pamela's, but actually only me eating as they had had brunch instead but fun with the kids before their father (my older son) rang asking for them to be taken to his place and then I stayed on for a while to keep Pamela company. Came home to prepare for the rest of the family to arrive and when they did more fun, food and laughter. Boxing Day we spent mainly in Trevor's pool, the little ones from Wyoming were dropped at 9.30am so we had all seven grandkids together. There were the usual arguments over pool toys and who splashed water into who's eyes but everyone played mad pool games and yes I did get sunburnt, didn't get the sun cream to some spots like under my arms, how did that area get burnt? Maybe when I was pushing the little ones on the Crocodile, or throwing balls from one end of the pool to the other?

We did run out of towels, I gave all my large towels to Trevor so I need to stock up again for family invasions. It is amazing how much food we all ate, how much leftovers that produced, I will be eating them for the next week. It was fortunate that I was given boxes of chocolates as all my grandchildren are chocoholics so they are mostly eaten which is very good. That saves me the trauma of having them in the house calling my name at night! What will I do with some things, like most of a gingerbread house and the things I bought for them and cannot eat myself due to dietary restrictions?

Did I think of Ray? All the time. It was hard not to cry when I so wanted to tell him how cute the boys and Alice were, how well the aunties and uncles interacted with the children and what fun it was to play in the pool happily for hours without any fuss or fights. I so love to have my kids together but they are OUR kids and grandkids, not just mine. I loved Naomi telling me "sorry Granma, Tori and I need to go outside and have some special time because we are girls." I love that they are bonding. And then this morning Christopher and Naomi asking their mother: "Couldn't we just stay another day?" It shows they love being here.

i look around the house now and there is a lot to do to straighten it out and make it neat and tidy again but I don't care. I like it to look messy. It is a sign of a family home as opposed to the tidiness of a widow's house. I may not have them under the same roof for years to come with the coming and goings of at least two out of three families on the move but at least I have the memories of this Christmas to cling to. I love my family and have much joy in having them all together . Sad my older son does not see it the same way. So my Christmas was not peaceful but over the two days full of noise and laughter and that is as it should be.

For the rest of 2013 I will take it quiet, take it slow, ponder on what has been and what may still be to come.

Wishing all of you good health and happiness in 2014.