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Learning how to live in the new normal



For a good while I wondered when will things be back to normal. Normal to me meant spending friday nights with my husband watching movies or some sort of family outing and just enjoying the evening together. Normal meant having my husband to look after me. Normal meant enjoying my laying in the bed while he get up extremely early to pray and read his Bible. Normal meant being able to talk to my husband about whatever bothers me. Once I took the focus off us me and realized that my husband and I have the great opportunity of created new memories, carving new paths, and enjoying our marriage together as if we were new couples. I am thankful for the opportunity to live in the new normal. I am enjoying the miracle of life. This journey began with the Drs. preparing me for the worse by telling me that my husband had a very bad - massive brain bleed and there is nothing they can do. Here we are almost a year later and while my husband continues to require 24 hour watch, he walks without assistace, feeds himself, clothe himself with minimal assistance, and he tells me over and over how much he love and appreciate me. I am enjoying this new normal it is such a beautiful life of love and happiness.


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You have found the secret that it takes some caregivers a long time to find, that it is a new day every day and you just need to appreciate that. You have your husband as a companion now, still able to be with you and a bonus that he can say he loves and appreciates you.


Thanks for the reminder, even as a widow I have to remember that a "new" normal after a while is just normal.



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wow - you are way ahead of the game for sure….. dan and i are still trying to reach that juncture.. we are getting there, ( i have had to drag him lol) your pre stroke life and ours sound similar -- dan also would get up very early to pray.. and the "date" nite didn't mean we even had to leave the house a movie at home was just fine with us… we are trying to roll with the punches… nancyl

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Faith :


it takes solid few years to find & appreciate that new normal, once you find that new normal life becomes joyful again. I am glad you are enjoying & appreciating your new normal & creating beautiful new picture after original one broke after stroke. It's good to be in that serene place where you realize there is life after stroke not good or bad just different than you envisioned before.



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Faith, I am so please that you are enjoying your new normal. Good for you to see that life has changed, but you can still enjoy and make new memories. A joy to read.



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I know exactly what you mean. I told my son that I no longer felt like caregiver to a disabled person, we just feel like a retired couple who spend their time together, each day. Sure, I could do without all the stress of the paperwork and 'system' that make me insane - but WE are a happy couple, and laugh a lot together.

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That is why the wedding vows say "In sickness and in health". I think I have been closer to Larry since the stroke. How can you not become closer when you are spending 24/7 with them and doing most of their toileting? lol It is a bond caregivers to spouses or loved ones are privileged to have. Larry is thankful for the care I give and says it to me every day.



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